It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Recession

There is no indication that it is Christmastime in my apartment or at my place of business. Not a single decoration adorns the halls or the walls. This year, for various and sundry reasons, I cannot even afford a $15 dollar tree from Home Depot. All of my ornaments are in storage with Sarah's because we never separated them before we moved out of our old apartment. In light of december's bills I am not even going to have any money, to speak of, for presents. I tell myself I am going shopping on December 20th with the paycheck that will be issued to me that day, but how much can I really do when I have to put out cash for my sister's plane ticket home, have to pay the phone bill, and all the other bills I'll have at that time of the month, etc. I have to put out money for my daily commute, too.

For someone who delights in this time of year, especially, it is a crushing blow.

I know what you're thinking. I can hear you saying "But it's not about trees, presents, lights, etc." At the heart of it, no. But the way I keep Christmas involves extravagance--I love the luxury of giving. I love the warmth of spirit the decorations facilitate, and I love being able to buy exquisite meals with friends, talking over the old days, the times to come, etc. I love wrapping paper and the sound of scotch tape being torn off the dispenser. I love the swishing sound a bundle of shopping bags makes. I love finding the perfect present for a dear friend; the item or gesture that so perfectly hits the target, no one can believe that such a thing or idea even existed.

I know this is my own fault for being too short-sighted.