Did I say I felt warm and fuzzy? This too, is now up for revision. I feel instead some variation of cheated...prevented....barred. What kind of world do I occupy where my best friend gets to have an outing to the art store with the man I love while I sit at my pointless job doing not much of anything? I am not jealous of her with him (I think). I am instead, jealous of the time, jealous of the opportunity. I have not seen him for over a month, and have no immediate plans to see him...

I feel my neck tightening.

When I came home I was starving so I ate a peanutbutter & jelly sandwich with an English Breakast chaser. It has quieted the growl of the desperate animal that lives in my abdomen. Now I am watching syndicated television while reading the memoir. I feel fortunate when it comes to literature these days. I already have a new book in the queue. Devika's gift of Black Girl in Paris is the light at the end of my tunnel today.