I couldn't sit with him at the Liturgy because he and Norman had to sit together at the front for the "induction." I was happy to sit with friends of Norman in another pew. The service didn't start until 7:30, but we were at the church by 7. I was chatting amiably with some woman whose name I've already forgotten. Mr. Renaissance came up to me, interrupting my conversation with her, and asked me if i wanted to come outside with him and talk about tonight. I wasn't sure what he meant. I thought maybe he meant what was going to happen after the service, like plans to go out to eat or something. No. We sat down on the front steps of the church and he explained what the order of the service would be, the rationale behind it, etc. We were sitting so close, and I was looking at him so intensely, trying to show him that he had my attention.

There was an energy there, at least on my part, that I didn't know if I could bear. I really wondered if we were going to kiss tonight, and I knew I wasn't ready, that we haven't logged the miles of emotional intimacy that would make a kiss meaningful. Mr. R. asked me if I knew anything about the church's namesake. I didn't, so he told me everything there is to know. I wasn't able to contribute much, knowing nothing of Catholic church history. He said to me "Kate, let's see what else I can bore you with..."

I assured him that I was not bored, but could only listen, since I had nothing to offer in the way of enlightenment. I asked what he was enjoying about The Catcher In The Rye (he mentioned really liking the first chapter so far). He told me that the internal dialogue really hooked him, and that he found the "conversational" nature of it laid back, and so very accessible. He said he likes the name Holden. That was encouraging to me because, much to my chagrin, I admit to having imagined us having a son with that name (I love it too).

In this same moment, I asked him if he realized he has some gray hairs. He was incredulous, and asked where they were. So I reached up, and touched the places where I saw them. A few moments later we went back inside, and I took my seat with the ladies in Norman's entourage.

After the lengthy mass we went to a cake and punch reception. Mr. Renaissance and I sat on a bench by ourselves (he served me cake first, then went and got me a drink) chatting. We opted out of Norman's post-confirmation dinner at the Paper Moon Diner, and left to get drinks. But on the way to get drinks, Mr. R. felt too tired, and asked if I minded if he just dropped me off. I was disappointed because I would have wanted to spend more time with him, but I understood, and I certainly didn't begrudge him the extra sleep he would get by not lengthening our evening. I felt good that he didn't feel obligated to go through with drink plans, that he knew he could just say to me "I'm too tired."

He is planning to spend Easter alone tomorrow because he can't bear the dysfunction of a family meal. I let him know that I'm free, that he can call me if he wants to hang out. We'll see.