Hiatus

My insurance terminates the day my employment with company X ends. My new policy with company neXt doesn't begin until June 1. Here's another rub. My counselor is on vacation through the end of June. My next appointment after tonight is July 3rd.

I don't feel terribly panicked or concerned, though I do recognize the loss of momentum that could result. But I am in an optimistic season of life right now, and I believe that somehow this break is going to be what I need in order for the rest of my life to take the shape it wants to take. I believe in going with the organic flow of things... given that most things are beyond my control (past a certain point) it just makes sense, and saves heartache in the end, anyway.

For a long time I wondered if my counseling has even been going in the direction it needed to in order for me to be getting the most out of the process. I was chagrined that for the most part, my beloved Mr. Renaissance, and my relationship with him, surged effortlessly to the forefront of discussion during my sessions almost every week. I thought perhaps I was being myopic, or obsessive, but this is the trail it has made sense to follow. I stopped fighting it, internally, a couple of weeks ago. I have to trust that it was what I needed in order to work through the other issues. I can see that I've made headway in a lot of areas through my pointed exploration of this one relationship.

It has been a gift to be able to talk about him in such a focused way. It has helped me to understand my feelings, to see patterns of behavior, and to facilitate change.

What's next? You'll find out when I do.