Tickle Me Elmo and Tension Tamer Tea

Last night when Alberta came up for a chat she brought me three bags of tension tamer, a wonderful tea she first introduced to me on a visit a couple of months ago. This stuff instantly relaxed me then. So I had some tonight to keep my headache at bay (I still feel it lurking) which I know is as emotional as it is physical.

My mom and I had another good talk tonight. I'm trying to be patient with her as she rehashes a lot of issues in her life because I know she needs me to listen to her. I also feel her being willing to listen to me, trying not to be so self-absorbed, and I feel myself responding to that effort. We talked more about the miniature diningroom set, and she told me that the way I received her gift on Christmas lit up her soul--that she could feel my joy so strongly it was as though she had been given something priceless.

We also discussed her star gift to me the Christmas that I was 22. Two months prior to the holiday that year I had wanted a "Tickle Me Elmo" (before the hype broke out), but I didn't buy it. As time wore on, I realized that I loved the idea of owning one, but it was nearly impossible to get one as Christmas drew closer. My mom called me one morning mid-month and casually asked me if I really wanted it--or if I had been just kidding. I told her that I did, but that I thought I'd just buy one a couple months later when things died down. I took her question at face value.

On Christmas morning my sisters and I opened up all our presents and I was pleased as usual--totally satisfied with my mother's generosity. And then she directed me to a present I had missed at the back of the tree. I was shocked that there could be more, so I began opening this last gift with no clue what it could be. I know I was 22, but my pleasure was unchecked and lacked guile when I saw what it was--much like it was this year when I got my little dining set back. And I heard God speak to me in that moment, in an instant, He said to my heart "how much more would I give you if you would ask?"

My mother has always been the conduit of God's generosity toward me. She has always been the source of the symbols of hope He gives me. I cannot tell you how many times my mother has gone to great lengths to bring me what I longed for, but didn't think of as being possible to receive.

So, she asked about good old Elmo when I told her about the experience I had with God upon opening it all those years ago. He was in a bag with other stuffed animals in my closet, and it suddenly seemed wrong to me that this should be his fate. She said "I think you should take him out since he's a symbol of what God promised you." I had been thinking the same thing at that very moment, so I liberated him.

He's sitting on the couch.