A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger--Proverbs 15:1

I pondered my possible courses of action concerning Gordon's e-mail and I decided to answer his note in the spirit in which I perceived it to have been sent. After praying through the matter and weighing the merits of drawing a harsh line in the sand vs. the merits of a cumbersome, clunky "this is how you've hurt me" manifesto, I decided that there was potential damage to be done in either scenario. I realized that for as cut and dry as his lack of communication seems to me, there is a whole side of this story I don't know. His side. It is always better to lead with the benefit of the doubt when it comes to friends. It is always better to lead with a question than a presupposition.

In my life I have written terribly hurtful letters to people, and even when my anger was justified, I found scathing comments to brook no further discussion and to be alienating. Believe me, you cannot hold rage against your heart for warmth.

I think that wisdom entails knowing what is called for when. There is a time for drawing lines in the sand, but one must only do that when one has all the information there is to have. Depending upon Gordon's response to my e-mail (which does beg a reply), I will know if I should address his perceived negligence.

Also, even in a spirit of rebuke, to give too much up front wouldn't allow me the dignity of proffering a measured response. Even anger, in a way, should be earned. By giving full vent to my feelings all at once I would be saying to him that he does not have to work to know what I think. I get to decide what I will let him know and what I won't.

So I told him I'd been fine,that Christmas was good, but that I thought it odd not to have heard from him before now, and that I hoped he was okay. This was the one path I felt comfortable taking, that didn't feel false, or like a cop out.