I bought a few Christmas presents yesterday. Sarah and I hung out in the suburbs, hitting Barnes & Noble, Pier One, Starbucks (gift card purchase), and Seattle's Best for a sitdown coffee break. It was pretty uneventful, save for the fact that Gordon's friend Greg checked me out at B&N.

I didn't know he worked for that company at all, let alone at the one in Sarah's neighborhood. He asked if I'd seen Gordon lately, and of course all of us here know the answer to that. I noticed that even seeing a friend of Gordon's made me nervous and kind of giddy--such is the minimal contact I've had with him lately, so poignant is my missing him, that even seeing someone I am usually disappointed to see, reminded me of him.

I really have to be my own first priority right now. This time away from the one my soul loves is a gift (though a hard one to bear sometimes). It's the gift of time to get my affairs in order before I add another soul to my life the way I want to add him to my life. It did provide a bit of comfort to me knowing that Greg will undoubtedly mention this to Gordon, and in so doing, will convey a sliver of my heart to him.