I ran out of tape last night, so I've had to stop the wrapping frenzy for the time being. I've never been this far ahead of the game (which I know is not terribly far) before. All of my preparations will be complete before Christmas eve this year. A sign of maturity, perhaps?

I asked my mom to ask her friend to contribute the spirits to our Christmas festivities. I left her a voicemail message yesterday. When she called me back just a while ago, she said she would ask Jim to do just that, and then puts him on the phone! What's that about? My mom has always made me her go between with the men in her life. As a little girl I had to ask my stepdad to do certain things, because she felt he would say yes if I asked. I just felt so resentful of that all over again.

I'm praying for the strength to hold my tongue and not air our family business in front of Crystal's boyfriend, but more than that, to be the one who can rise above my irritations and just be glad that I have people I love enough by whom to be irritated. I really just want to have a day of food flowing freely, spiked egg nog and punch, appetizers, movies with holiday themes/christmas music playing in the background, and cooking with my mother in the kitchen. I want everyone to have a good time. But I worry about this desire of mine maybe being unrealistic.

I want to believe that everything is going to work out, that everyone will really like the presents I got them, that it won't suck, again, on some level this year...