The Sum of the Years...

I spent so much of my childhood waiting to be old enough to really feel the things I wanted to feel, taste the things I wanted to taste, Understand the things I wanted to know, have the kinds of friendships I'd read about in literature, go to movies I would find interesting, have the kind of house I want, etc.

I remember being 6, I remember my 10th birthday party, I remember my 15th surprise birthday party. Likewise, I remember turning 18, 19, 20, and 21. Each of those years I had the distinct feeling that I was counting down to something...the day when I could see my true face, and recognize myself for who I really am.

I am now old enough to have (in no particular order):

Confronted both of my fathers for their counterfeit parenting
Ridden on the back of a motorcycle with the man I love
Awakened at 4 a.m. every morning for nearly a year to travel to a job I hated
Settled in a town different from the one in which I grew up
Overcome my consuming fear of dogs
Entered counseling to confront my own struggles with anger
Cut my hair severely short twice
Written insecure love poetry for three men (and a few boys)
Written unapologetic love poetry for one man
Seen 5 memorable snow storms
Been drunk
Been in a good friend's wedding
Flown to Arizona
Left relationships that were toxic
Called a spade a spade
Gotten over crushing heart break three times
Used someone to make another person jealous
Parented my sisters
Hosted dinner parties
Come to love cats
Seen friends younger than me find love and have children
Rebelled
Stood up for a principle
Been categorically wrong about everything
Been absolutely right about everything
Stopped fearing my emotions
Opened my heart and stopped fearing what I want
Trusted God to be good to me

How old am I, in light of that?