One Week til 30

I had a conversation with an old friend from college days a couple of nights ago. She had her 30th birthday in early March, and she confirmed what I've been feeling for the last month. The coming of a stunning, sparkling clarity. She said "Kate, I know exactly what you mean. Everything becomes so clear when you are 30."

In this culture, women especially, are led to expect something huge to happen at this age--either crushing depression--or the opening of the third eye of enlightenment. So far, I am in the latter camp.

I don't know if I can do the feeling justice. I feel very calm, settled, and unequivocally sure about things. I have believed I felt that before, but there was also something forced about the feeling in the past. It still had vestiges of bravado in it. This feels pure and clean and uncomplicated.

It's as though I've been in labor for the last two years, and now the pushing is over.