I Call This One 'Eye Contact, 2nd Hand Smoke, and Impromptu Photographs.'

He picked me up at about 7, and then we had to go pick up another girl who was joining us because her car is in the shop. Once at the pub, I couldn't sit near him, so we looked at each across the table while he blew smoke seductively. His lips looked very soft. The pure, unjaded look of youthfulness still characterizes his face in spite of his 29 years, not really matching his cynical outlook on the world--that I know is really the pain of being an optimist who's been let down one time too many.

I told everyone I was planning on getting my hair cut very short on Saturday morning, a la Halle Berry. Gordon mentioned how much he liked that look. So I somewhat jokingly said I'm doing it for you... He gave me kind of a half smile. But, if I might, I will share my interpretation of that expression. He seemed somewhat caught off guard, but pleased...intrigued. Obviously, I'm getting my hair done for me. But I want him to enjoy it.

This all came about because he asked me about my propensity for wearing baseball caps these days. He said I've noticed you're wearing baseball caps lately, why... That's when I said that my hair was too weird right now. Between gigs....

I loved that he made efforts to talk to me, all the way at the other end of the table. I loved that he returned my gazes.

And finally, I loved that because of a switcheroo with seats, I ended up sitting directly across from him. When he asked for water, the waiter brought me one too, as though we were one in the same, our desires one in the same. At some point, before we left, Victoria took a picture of the two of us. It will be the only one in the world to exist when it gets developed.

So I'll see him at the wedding. I think I can handle whatever happens as long as I look good. As Iong as I get to see that look I sometimes get from him when I know he thinks I'm beautiful.