Minor glitch, all better now...

I mentioned, in rather cursory fashion, Devika's and my less-than-stellar server from last week. Turns out he wreaked more havoc than I thought. He charged my card for my half of the meal and the total bill as well. In all likelihood he made the error, then voided the charge, but no matter, because it caused about 35 dollars of my money to be held in abeyance for a couple of days. I called (both the bank and the restaurant) on Sunday when I noted the error, and I was told by the bank that they could do nothing until Tuesday morning (of course they had already assessed me a 35.00 fee in anticipation of the overdraft the errant charge was going to cause) by which time the charge would either have been posted or removed.

The manager at the restaurant was slightly more helpful. First of all she was appropriately, but not cloyingly, apologetic. Then she researched the error and called me back with details. She let me know that from her end it seemed that the incorrect charge had been voided, and that it should clear by Tuesday (on this point California Pizza Kitchen and my bank agreed).

In any case, I looked at my bank statement first thing this morning (it's direct deposit pay day) and saw that only the correct charge had posted, but that my bank had not removed the Non Sufficient Funds Fee. So I called them. And the rep grudgingly refunded the money after explaining to me that this was not a bank error, but a vendor error (I'll refund it this time, she said).

I tried to explain to her (calmly and rationally) that that being the case, she could still see that the errant charge had not posted to my account, so the 35.00 fee I'd been assessed needed to be removed. It never got ugly (I am committed to staying rational on the phone with business people; you catch more flies with honey. Also, it's just immature and counterproductive to alienate the person who may be able to help you.), but I also don't think we saw eye to eye on why the ball was squarely in the bank's court. Either way, I got what I needed from them.

The point is this: If I ever have that server again, I'm going to pay in cash.

Answers to Prayer, etc.

I found out today that my application for the apartment was approved. I even established with the leasing agent the fee that I will pay to secure the place; it's a very good scenario that will leave me with some savings/seed money for financing movers and other necessities for the new apartment.

I also got a lead on another junk removal service. In looking at the University newspaper classifieds online I scored a phone number. The phone estimate is free; I plan to call tomorrow.

Now I'm busy making lists, sending e-mails, planning the dates of execution for key benchmark events, such as: "Place ad in Gazette to sell television" (I'm selling to buy a newer model); "Call phone company to establish land line" (I'll need one b/c of the secure entry system at my new building); and "Get boxes." Things like that.

I only accomplished three items from my Moving Schematic today. Welcome to Kate al a Type A Mode. I'll be in overdrive for the next two months, but really I thrive on having an event like this to plan. I'm really in my element.

Published!

Check out this article ("Dad's Gone AWOL...") my alter ego wrote.

Moving Schematic

On Saturday, after a successful breakfast date with my old friend and after the leasing agent at the apartment for which I'm applying came by to get some documents from me (long story short, I stopped by her office on Friday to give them to her, but due to a snafu, she wasn't there), I met up with Sarah and a friend of hers for coffee. Then she and I drove to Value City Furniture to purchase and arrange for delivery of some items for the new place. I got the overstuffed chair that matches the couch and loveseat I got two years ago, a curio cabinet, a diningroom set, and an end table that matches the one I already have. The new space will have a very cohesive, uniform design in place, which is nice.

I found out, incidentally, that I should know by tomorrow afternoon if my application is approved. Tonight I drew up a "Moving Schematic" to help me get arms around all that I have to do in order to pull off a successful transfer of households. I did an online estimate for junk removal, but have decided to nix that. It's 134 dollars, minimum, for them to come out. It's not worth it for three pieces, I feel. I'll have to figure out another way to dispose of them (a bookshelf on it's last legs, a too-small desk, and a small tv shelf).

Other than that, I am looking forward to "Grey's Anatomy" tonight. It's my favourite show right now.

Breakfast

I'd lost touch with a longtime friend I met during undergrad. Lately I've been thinking about her with some persistence. Eventually, I started to dream about her. I knew it was time to drop her a line. Or something.

In about 13 minutes we are getting together for breakfast at the One World (where else?) to catch up more extensively. We did an admirable job over e-mail earlier in the week, so at least we won't be going into this meal cold, but I do wonder how things will go. This is someone that I used to consider my best friend in the world--I lived with her for a couple of years after college, as well as one year during, but I had often felt judged by her, and it undermined our closeness over the years.

We have been, for all intents and purposes, on very good terms all this time. And the trouble spots in our friendship have been acknowledged, to an extent, but I continued to struggle with anger toward her for crimes both vague and specific. Our losing touch over the course of the last year or two has been incidental to the demands and pressures of life--grad school and work for me; marriage and work for her. But I wonder if the time I've taken over the last year to do some self-evaluation will enable us to start again on more level footing. I'm a very different person than the last time I really sat down and talked to her. I bet she is too.

Yesterday was a day for making the train against all odds. I thought I'd miss the 2:45 train to DC because I had an appointment with the leasing agent at 2:30 to hand over my application, sign forms, etc., but I made it with about a minute to spare! Then, because two people, including me, didn't have poems last night, we got let out early. So, I got the 8:40, not the 10:45, home.

But before that I had dinner with the lovely Devika. We enjoyed cocktails, soup, salad (for her), and eggrolls (for me) at California Pizza Kitchen. Our server did not understand timing, or the nuances thereof, that are necessary to help the customer feel unrushed, and that the meal is being well-paced. He took soup I wasn't quite finished with (he didn't ask), and then later asked if I was done with a plate of food that I was obviously still eating from.

Anyway, the delightful surprise of the evening was that the adorable Monito made a cameo appearance, surprising both Devika and myself at the restaurant! We were just about wrapping up dinner when he arrived, so we settled the check and parted ways with him at Starbucks, where Devika and I stopped for a cappuccino before my class.

I could go on seeing her at least once a week for the rest of my life!

Oh, but check this out. I think that kid from my class last year, the one I went on the "date" with, might still be nursing a little crush on me. He's also in this workshop. I'd let my guard down a bit since he's made such a big deal about his woman friend being so into him and vice versa. Maybe she's his imaginary girlfriend....

Hi, Space, it's nice to meet you; I'm Location.

The apartment I saw yesterday has all the antiquity and charm I admire, and is in a location that is roughly equidistant to work and the university, and the square footage for the price is amazing. And the space is really the selling point, because there is no dishwasher, or other new appliances included, but I'll forego a dishwasher for about double the space (both bedrooms are huge!) at only 30 dollars more a month than I'm paying now for this adorable matchbox I live in.

At this point, I am of the mindset that I'd like to move forward. I plan to take over my application today.

Here are the known pros:

Secure building
Vintage building (built in 1906)
equidistant to work and school
will cut my daily bus fare by about a third (one bus will get me to work now; no connection)
I can walk to my hair salon and many other excellent places from the locale (like the train station)
SQUARE FOOTAGE (1295 sq. ft)
Onsite management
Heat is included (it usually is in these older buildings)
The price is right

Here are the known cons:

No longer across the street from my gym
No longer have immediate access to the One World

Let me just tell you how good God is...

I realized that that appointment tomorrow morning was too soon after my appointment this afternoon for me get any sort of process underway. I would still be in the position of not knowing enough in order to take a step in any one direction. So I prayed that God would delay (or cancel), somehow, the proceedings with the people I was to see tomorrow morning.

I just got a phone call.

the appointment I had for tomorrow morning has been pushed back a week! They won't have all the paperwork ready by tomorrow, and I really can't comfortably do any week day except Thursday because I work from home and have the flexibility to run errands, etc. Anyway, having an extra week will do one of two things for me:

1. If I like the place I see today, I'll have time to apply, get approved, and move forward with that leasing agent in plenty of time to cancel the appointment with the other realty company on March 2nd.

Or

2. If the place today is a no-go for whatever reason, I'll have time to pursue something else altogether.

Either way, when I could not, no matter how many pros I listed, make myself feel okay about the one place, I prayed that God would make a way for me to know, conclusively, if it is His will for me to live there. I definitely see this turn of events as an answer to that prayer.

I saw a semi charming apartment in Charles Village last night. The rental rate is good given the location, but the space is too small for me. I'm looking to spread out, not contract. For those of you who pray, please pray that the place I am seeing today at 5 will work out. If you don't pray, per se, then send out loving vibes and good thoughts if you can!

I've realized something: My apartment search, in many ways, mimics my "search" for the perfect mate. Not that I'm searching now so much, but it is quite similar to that process as I've experienced it over the years. Of all the places I've seen, I can honestly say there was something about almost all of them that would make them convenient or pleasant in some way, but the feeling you get when you know has been missing. And that is crucial. Even that first place that I loved so much, but just didn't/don't feel quite right about...I have an appointment on Thursday morning to see that place again and potentially put down a security deposit on it. A large, for me, sum of money, that would hurt to lose. Maybe now I know how a woman might feel when she's on the verge of marrying the wrong man...

What I am hopeful for is that by the end of my appointment today I won't need to keep that meeting because I will have found my new home.

In Good Faith...

I reserved movers! April 22nd is my move date, come what may.

Valentine's Day/Presidents' Day Happenings

Sarah and I made the decision to exchange trinkets (inexpensive presents) for Valentine's day this year. Since her breakup with Michael, we've been trying to keep things that have the potential to get heavy and burdensome, light. So we set a 30-dollar limit way back in January for a mini gift exchange on Feb 14th (or thereabouts). We didn't get to open up our wares until this Saturday night (the 18th) when we got together, but it was so fun, almost better than Christmas, because there wasn't all this pressure to break the bank on mad crazy loot, yo.

I loved everything she got me! Three pairs of socks, two in the argyle style; A cocktail shaker (with a rubber grip, Devika will know what this means! No lost alcohol!) with an Anne Taintor illustration on the front; a milk frother; a mouse pad with an illustration of a dog that looks just like miss Babygirl; a children's book on not being rude (it's to help me with attitude adjustments when I get snarky :) ); a fantabulous set of drinking glasses that feature major world cities; and last but not least a pink& brown starbucks mug and gift card!

Other than that, I took off on Presidents' day (my company observes MLK's b-day instead) to deal with apartment stuff. I saw two places, called a few more, and set up some more appointments for later this week. At this point, it feels safe to say that I will know where I'm moving by Friday.

Also, got a nibble on a resume I sent out. Pray/send out good vibes. It's time for some things to shift!

Reorienting myself helped tremendously. I felt significantly more balanced yesterday; it helped more that I decided not to pore relentlessly over the classifieds for the time being. It's about putting one foot in front of the other. And my weekly visit with Devika did wonders for replenishing my soul. Some people just make you feel enriched when you're around them; she has such an enjoyable spirit. Completely non-toxic!

I'm a little tired from the train haul back home, but none the worse for wear. The Weekend is here again...and there's no snow in the forecast that I know of....

The antidote to a restless spirit...

is praise and communion. In the Bible there is a story about two sisters. Mary and Martha. They are two sides of the same coin--one of them represents acts of service, the other, contemplation and enjoyment of God. Fellowship with him, in essence. At one point during the Parable in which Jesus is visiting these two sisters, Martha, the "doer" complains bitterly "Lord! Tell my sister to help me. Don't you care that she has left me to make all these preparations alone?" Mary had simply been sitting at Christ's feet, talking to him. Jesus very compassionately replies to her "Martha, Martha, you are worried about many things, but Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her."

The point of that story isn't that one doesn't have to do things, or that is okay to shirk one's duties, but more that practicing the presence of God--enjoying him through worship, praise, prayer, and communion prevents us from getting to that place of bitterness where our duties and obligations are concerned. And what is more, that it is far more important to draw near to the spirit of God than to do anything. For the Christian, our most important business is the business of our relationship with God.

Lately, I have been frazzled. So turned around that I am incapable of focusing on any one thing, because I have so much on my mind. Today, this really started to wear on me, and I began to crave intimacy with God, to just be in his presence. I simply wanted to steal away to a quiet place and free myself of all distraction so that I could enjoy him.

After class I came home and began to listen to one of my favorite worship music albums and lit some candles and incense. I made a cup of peppermint tea with honey, and just let the simple rhythms of the music still me. And I found, again, that God is always waiting for me to draw near, and that when I do, he is right there to meet me.

What is this? Greul Gruel?

In order to compete with the likes of Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, and other specialty/organic markets, I've seen a lot of chain grocers step up their game by including organic sections in their stores. I was at one such chain recently and bought a box of Organic Instant Oatmeal, and it tastes awful! Somebody needs to go back to the drawing board on that one...

FAFSA

I finally dealt with finacial aid stuff for fall 2006-spring 2007. Fortunately, I did this tonight because it had been unbeknownst to me that tomorrow is the deadline for part-time students (at my university anyway). Now all I have to do is mail and/or fax the info to my school's financial aid office and I'm done. Now it's up to them to give me aid or not.

I was supposed to go to the gym tonight, but opted to hang out with Sarah for a bit instead. By the time I got home, I thought, "I guess I'll do FAFSA." It's always good to go with your instincts. If I hadn't, I would have been under the impression that I had oodles and oodles of time to get this finished.

I am so psyched. I just downloaded The Beastie Boys' "So what'cha want" from iTunes. I had forgotten all about that song until tonight. Hearing it still puts me in the best mood.

I was able to rule out the place I saw last night in mere seconds. Actually, truth be told, I was hoping I wouldn't like it, because it is farther away from campus than I'd like. I really want to be closer in to the city proper.

In any case, one of the tenants showed me the space because the landlord is hard to reach...all the time... I wouldn't say it was a pit, exactly. Actually, it has the potential to be a very lovely space, but structural damage made it an absolute deal breaker for me. The rent could not be beat and now I know why. It seems that the last tenant moved out a year ago because she got tired of asking to have repairs made. That was all I needed to know. I was in and out in less than five minutes.

Well, so I know my apartment is still out there. It's waiting for me and I'm waiting for it...

Irons in the Fire

This morning, after getting to work an hour and a half later than usual (weather-related complications), I hit the ground running. I prepared notes for a meeting, I started editing some new material, applied for a job, sent out some e-mails to friends, and sent out yet another apartment-related inquiry. I've started feeling an urgency around finding new work as intense as the urgency I feel about getting a new place to live. Tonight, after work, I'm going to see an apartment in a house in the Roland Park area. I don't have a gut instinct about it right now, but I think I'll know one way or the other after I see it.

The weekend, snow aside, was pleasant. I spent Saturday and Sunday with Sarah, as per usual, and we ate some great food and watched one really excellent movie, "Hustle & Flow." It's not something I was overtly interested in seeing at first, but my interest was piqued when I noted that it was up for a few prestigious awards. In any case, it was available at the video store on Saturday before the deluge of white really hit, so we snapped it up. I am so glad I saw this movie. It has a very important message to communicate, and does so while using the most base examples of humanity, while remaining compassionate toward those archetypes. I really appreciated it.

So much for fiscal responsibility...

I forgot the tuna sandwiches. I even told myself "now don't forget those tuna sandwiches, because then your efforts will be moot." I realized just before the bus pulled up to Penn Station that my dinner was still in my fridge at home. So I'd have to get a quick, hopefully cheap bite out once I got to Washington. Moving on.

I didn't do too badly until I was waiting at Union Station for that last train home after class... I went into Starbucks for a green tea and just happened to notice that they had oatmeal raisin cookies (my favourite) and the new Beth Orton CD...

Today is a new day, so I'm just going to take it from the top. (Honestly, I might need a 12-step program)

One Reason I know My Attitude About Money Is Changing...

Because I am not meeting Devika before class this week (sadness!), I knew I would have to figure out dinner on my own. I'd already made up my mind to treat myself to a starbucks purchase of some sort, but I was vacillating on where to get dinner. Then an idea hit me. I could make some tuna fish, throw together a couple of sandwiches, put them in a plastic container, and be done with it. Economical and easy. Now that luxury coffee drink won't seem so extravagant.
As someone who loves to eat out, the fact that I was so excited to realize I could just make something... well, I think it's tantamount to a sinner turning from her evil ways.

Grace

is drinking coffee out of a red mug; is plans going off without a hitch; is being saved by the bell, is a safety net; is jazz on a sunday morning; is a hug when you least deserve one; is a gerber daisy, fully open whether the sun is shining or not; is the joy you feel when it's one of your closest friend's birthdays... Happy 31st, my Catchka!

Observations on Editor Boy (as he shall henceforth be known)...

He wears his pants about 3 sizes too large. I've noticed this phenomenon among a lot of men who are of a medium build (or smaller); they buy pants (khakis, usually) that are meant for a much larger man. Is this perhaps because they just grab a random pair of pants off the shelf and buy them without trying them on?

P.S. I've always wanted an excuse to call a man 'Editor Boy.' For a while another coworker was pinch-hitting by working in an editorial capacity in addition to all his other responsibilities. I called him Disgruntled Editor Boy.

I have a new colleague, also an editor. Today is his first day on the job. So far he's asked good questions and seems to have a solid grasp on things. In truth, I wouldn't be surprised if he's a better editor than I am. Often, I am bored by my job and a little too restless to really focus. Editors shouldn't be restless; they should be relentless in the quest to correct errors. I'd be a good content editor for books and magazines, I think. Not the comma splice kind who looks for erroneous punctuation, which is more like what I do now.

I've got a lead or two on the apartment front. I dreamt for the last two nights about living in one of the apartments I saw on Friday, but I decided that I needed to cut my losses and not hold out hope for something unrealistic. Something better could be right around the bend, and I don't want to miss out on it because I'm still stuck on the first thing I saw. I've done that far too many times in my life.

Rain & Fog

I saw three apartments yesterday. They each had something charming, advantageous, and desirable about them. Each unit I saw is a bit more expensive than I should really commit to, and the security deposit is 1.5 months' rent. And they are all available now. I'm not in a position to proceed with anything until the end of March at the absolute earliest, but the middle of April would really be the most comfortable, financially.

But the thing is this: I so want one of the apartments I saw, in particular. I can see my stuff in it. I can visualize having people over to it. I can imagine the life I want unfolding in that space. And I feel defeated because I probably can't have that place. I keep trying to think of a way to justify it, and I'm coming up short.

It is my hope to use movers this time around, but I might have to forfeit that convenience as well. I had forgotten that many places require a security deposit that is at least one month's rent. I have been fortunate so many times to have been able to pay remarkably less due to specials or promotions, so I just wasn't considering that element of the process. Money I had earmarked to have perfect, professional strangers convey my things to a new locale may have to go to a leasing/realty company instead.

Sarah and I rode all through Charles Village last night writing down telephone numbers off of "for rent" signs, then came back to her place and looked up Web sites and numbers of other places in my part of town. After a somewhat defeated afternoon (or so it felt), I called a couple of buildings/listings, to no real avail (I got put on one person's list to be called "should anything change"). The next month or so will be all about calling around, pounding the pavement, and hawking Craigslist and the City Paper. Somewhere there is a place for me to live that will meet my needs and not bankrupt me. I just need to realize that I might not be able to have everything I want, but I can get close, perhaps.

High

I'm in such a good mood I'm useless. I cannot make myself focus on minutiae. In addition to the leftover good vibes from my visit with Devika and my anticipation regarding seeing apartments today, a coworker just told me I look skinny! I was going to the gym today, anyway, but now I can't wait to get there.

Also I'm listening to disc 1 of Prince: The Hits. His song "Adore"just gets me.

Tickets, Please

Okay, I've realized something. It is nearly impossible to tear myself away from time with Devika. Tonight she had me over to her apartment where she served me a delightful apricot martini (I had two actually!). We also enjoyed spinach salad with orange slices, toasted pine nuts, and balsamic (vinaigrette?) dressing. The mushroom pizza was absolutely delicious. My only regret is that I didn't get to finish my Turkish coffee at the end. It was 5:55 and I had to get going! We both tried to be mindful of the time and we were, but people, you have to understand. I never get to see her. For most of the years I've known this woman, I've never seen her twice in one year, let alone twice in the space of one week. Spending time talking to her is so comfortable and so enjoyable that I almost wish I could just skip class. Maybe I will once...

More good fortune. My prof gave me a ride home again tonight. I had gotten myself all psyched up to wait for that late train, but was spared the agony of the 2-hour lag. This afternoon as I was heading into DC via the MARC, I slept off and on. How can I describe sleep on a train? For me, it's complete surrender. A total rejection of the self-conscious preoccupation with the details that make up my life that usually compromises my rest.

Well honey-pies, tomorrow I do my first round of apartment inspections. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm getting up out of this matchbox.

The Pleasures of Working from Home

I work from my apartment every Thursday, for the next several months anyway, and it is the best. I begin with a 6 a.m. workout, which gets me all amped up for the day. After showering and eating breakfast, I'm online with access to work e-mail, files, and all the other systems and modes of communication my officemates have at their disposal....without having to be there.

When I get the urge to make a smoothie at 10 a.m. or so, I do it. I just go make one. Today I'm roasting stuffed chicken thighs (sides of white corn and spinach) for lunch and planning to take my lunch break in front of the television for Judging Amy on TNT at noon.

Now what I need is to set up some sort of arrangement where I can do this everyday without having to work at all. I get so much done in my personal life when my job is not an issue. Notice that this 50s-era photo features a woman who is home without any kids. I would love to be a stay at home wife. Once the kid came I'd hightail it back to work!

(please note: I respect stay at home moms very much. This post is in no way meant to be a statement against that choice. I'm simply acknowledging that it takes so much more to be at home with children than home alone on your own terms with all the time in the world, and is in essence a very real job on its own.)

Literary Integrity

I've held off commenting on the James Frey Million Little Pieces debacle because, well, I wasn't really sure I had an opinion about it until now.

Here's what I think:

I think he should have had the forethought to include a comprehensive author's note prior to printing about the intermingling of verifiable fact and literary license. In my mind, this is his main error.

With that said, I'm going to come out in defense of the man on one point. As a current student in a writing program, I can tell you for a fact that the memoir, as a genre, has become a very fluid concept. Frey is in no way the first author to take the seminal events or main structure of his life and render it with ficticious overtones, to replace facts with more "true" events that keep to the essence of the story, more than actual events would. In many cases, novels are written as memoirs, and the blurring of categories and genres is very much en vogue in literature. As is the genre I call "conjectured memoir," Girl with the Pearl Earring comes to mind.

I believe firmly in the adage that "facts are the enemy of truth,"at the very least, that facts often undermine the point a writer might most want to convey.

In this past semester alone I worked on a short story that is about 40% true in terms of actual events and 100% true in terms of the emotional connotation the piece renders. I don't know why everyone (the literary community and readers alike) is acting like this is some great scandal.

A point of impropriety and a lack of foresight, I grant you, since one disclaimer would have prevented all of this. But let's ask ourselves:

How many memoirists have, in relying solely upon memory, distorted the facts of their personal history and not been caught? Do we really care? We live in a time when most people are doing their damndest to do away with absolute truth anyway, so this outcry seems a little hypocritical to me.

I know. For some the point is the intentional fabrication of facts. I'm not saying I'm okay with that. I'm saying the man shouldn't lose his literary credibility for this misstep. From what I understand, he's a gifted author who told a compelling story, at the center of which were true events, true things about his struggles with drug addiction. Subsequent printings of his book will come with a note. There. Moving on.

I'll say this. If I were him there's no way I would have reappeared on Oprah. From what I understand, she was merciless. And I understand that, too. Her credibility is also at stake.

He who tends a fig tree will eat its fruit (Proverbs 27:18)

I love figs. When I was a girl my stepfather and I had an understanding. Fig newtons were the symbol in our limited lexicon for "I'm sorry." When he wanted to apologize for some parental misstep, he bought me my own pack to eat and enjoy.

I didn't know then that the cookie portion of the treat was not part of the fig. I saw it as one entity. The fig newton.

A little later I got it. The thick, sensual layer of goo was the fig. It stood to reason. That is the best part of that concoction.

As an adult I've had the great fortune to eat at restaurants that serve wonderfully appealing plates with sumptuous sauces--fig reductions, balsamic glazes, and the like. But I had yet to eat a dried fig, all by its lonesome, until a few days ago. I ate almost the entire bag of them in the space of three days. And now I'm on my second bag, and I cannot get enough of the poetically named Black Mission Fig.

The scripture that functions as the title of this post has always meant a lot to me. It's part of the lexicon I share with God where his promises to me are concerned. Several years ago now I poured my heart out to him about a specific fear of mine. The fear of always having to sacrifice, of always having to sow what someone else would reap. And that is the scripture I came across as I was praying.

Literally, figs are mine in abundance. And I'm certain that the metaphoric, symbolic answer he was giving me in that passage is in no way undermined because he has also chosen to fulfill the literal implication. He's such a poet, creating both tenor in vehicle in one fell swoop.