Safe

I grew up feeling unsafe. This is a retrospective assessment; I didn't then think in terms of safe or unsafe, but as an adult, I see safety as the least common denominator of all my yearnings. In any case, as I think through what I most need in a mate I see that someone who is capable of making me feel safe, in every way, has surged to the top of my list. My friendship with Sarah and my relationship with sister Caryl are the two premiere examples of this kind of safety in my life. I feel safe enough to be angry with them, to let them be angry with me, have heated debates with them, tell them when something is bogus, and I know that it changes nothing between us. Sometimes your safe place is a person...and for as much as I want a man who can surprise me, keep me intrigued, who can be just left of center enough to keep me wanting more, his commitment to me cannot be something I have to guess.