Recap

I began my week by getting together with an old, albeit peripheral friend that I know from my Intervarsity Christian Fellowship days. We had the chance to hook up earlier this summer when he introduced the new SMCM IV staff person to myself and other alum. It's a long story that really doesn't need to be told in order for me to convey the gist.

Due to some perception/insecurity issues of mine from that era of my life, there were some things that I needed to discuss with him. Some small-scale tension was apparent (on my end) this summer during our get together, and he asked if I needed to process anything with him. His schedule finally allowed him a free evening to come to Baltimore to have that discussion. It was very beneficial for me in that I felt that I was heard and acknowledged. No major drama, but important for clearing the air nonetheless.

On Tuesday night I went to my 20th Century World Literature course where I feasted on the fare of some jocular banter with my instructor. I like him more and more, and feel that he looks forward to my weekly contributions to the class discussions. That's a nice feeling. It's nice to see him smile when he sees me. A smile is a powerful thing. It's acknowledgment, It's favour. Know that feeling you get when you know someone likes you? It's special, if I might use such a sentimental term.

I was making an effort to explain to Sarah that I find this man so...intriguing... It's so odd. I would be happy if this man just smiled, discussed books with me over coffee,while he smoked a cigarette, (wearing a turtleneck sweater and faded levis) and verbally riffed off my brilliance. Very different than what The Artiste calls forth...

with G, well it's all emotional and yearning. That's fine. It hasn't proved helpful to deconstruct my devotion to him. It is what it is.

Today, I, along with the rest of the world am trying to figure out where I go from here. What comes next... all the questions that we're all asking ourselves.

I am looking forward to having some quality time with my mom this weekend. Amongst other things we've planned, we're going to G's art opening at a church gallery on Sunday. But before the fun, another lackluster day at the office.