I've come to the conclusion that my sister Crystal and I don't have the relationship I want for us to have because of her, not me. With that said, I am backing off. This year, as with most other years, my mother is making her Thanksgiving dinner on the Friday following the actual holiday. She and her friend are going to his sister's house for the holiday proper, so Caryl and I are hanging out at my place. When I learned that Crystal was going to make it home after all, my joy felt complete at the thought of spending time with her, too.

But her plans are to go to the home of people to whom we are related, mostly by marriage. The very relatives with whom we spent the bulk of our holidays growing up. The very relatives that talk about us when we're not around.

I called her last night to ask her to consider coming to my place instead and she said that she felt she needed to "connect with her family." I'm not even kidding when I say this is what she said. I find it ironic to say the least that these very people do not and will not care one way or the other whether she shows up or not. I doubt she's even invited.

Then she tried to have a conversation with me about what Caryl and I are doing, what we're cooking, etc. I didn't really need her detached interest in something she doesn't care to be part of. I am washing my hands of that girl.