After giving it "serious thought" the artiste has decided to accompany me to a poetry reading in early December. It's a student reading given by those who are at the thesis stage of the program I'm currently in. The idea to ask him to come along to something like this first dawned on me months ago--I was thinking of the various museum jaunts that he invited me to come to--and how much I appreciated participating in those outings with him. It seemed to be a great way to reciprocate and share something that is important to me, with him.

Upon the initial broaching he was less than enthusiastic--not caring much for poetry in general, having made an exception for my work. We had a frank discussion in which he asked me why he would want to go to such a thing, and I told him that from my perspective it had nothing to do with his interest in it, primarily, but had more to do with how important it was to me. I assured him that it was okay if he didn't want to go, but that in that case, he should just say no, not simply ignore the question. This was a very good-natured exchange in which I tried to make it clear that I was trying to include him, but did not want him to acquiesce if he was not inclined to do so. He said he would e-mail me.

I heard nothing from him for about a week. I almost e-mailed him to let him know that I was removing the pressure by rescinding the invitation, but I didn't. I think it's important for people to have to account for themselves, to have to say yes or no to direct questions...I didn't want to preempt my right to hear his response.

In any case, he called me about another matter yesterday, and in the course of that conversation he relayed that he has decided ("after giving it a lot of thought") that he would attend--provided the invitation was still open. So, we are going... but I hold to these questions. Just what was there to think about? Where is the gray area in "do you want to go to a poetry reading?" I guess it's just foreign to me when people have to weigh things like that, because I know immediately if I want to/will do something or if I won't/am not interested. His deliberation gave the whole situation such an odd weight.

Ah well. Just another chapter in the very weird book of this friendship.