Remembered

I had an increasing feeling of a homecoming in church this morning. A few more people, including the pastor, who were not there last week were in attendance this morning.

I saw the pastor's only son (he has four daughters in addition to this one boy) standing on the steps of the church building, just as he might have six years ago, when I was last there. "I haven't seen you in half a decade," he said smiling. I nodded, affirming that it had indeed been that long.

I remember this person as a young child. Now he's a young man, truly handsome, with the presence of someone who is coming into himself. He's probably been in love and kissed several girls since the last time I laid eyes on him.

The scriptures and worship songs featured in today's service really confirmed things that God has been revealing to me over the course of the year. I felt affirmed by the enthusiastic greeting I recevied from so many old friends, including my beloved pastor, who hugged me warmly after the service. He shared with me that not that long ago he came across the remarks he made about me the Sunday in 1996 that I became an official member of Faith Christian Fellowship. It seemed to me to be foreshadowing of my return.

Another member smiled brightly and said "I hope you are back for a while!" I stayed for the adult Bible study after the service, and talked with a couple of people who became members after I left, and so had no knowledge of my previous life at Faith. It's just easy and right being there--there is no awkwardness when you are where you are supposed to be, I guess.

I've come to the conclusion that I put way too many restrictions on situations and myself in situations, and that this prevents me from enjoying my life as it unfolds. I don't want to miss out because my concept is not lining up with reality. I'm realizing that reality is often better than my idea of what things ought to be.