The humidity has not been good for my hair! I hate that I only look kempt right after I leave my apartment, but arrive at work looking like someone whose mama never taught her how to use a comb.

Last night I wrote out checks for first of the month expenses, including the full amount of the computer I financed. Writing checks is at once empowering and disappointing. You know, sometimes I think about the fact that money is truly conceptual and arbitrary. The system only works b/c everyone has decided to attribute the same value to the same thing.

Oh, and what is up with the penny?! They really need to stop making those. Pointless!

I worked from home yesterday to accommodate the delivery of my new furniture, my digital cable upgrade, and the installation of a cable modem. My apartment is pretty well established now, and I am enjoying the fact that I've been blessed with so many wonderful conveniences at once. God is good!I still need to research renter's insurance. I feel the need to protect these investments. Anyone have any recommendations? I'm thinking of going with Allstate.

I'm heading off to Richmond with Sarah for the weekend. I want to see her parents' new house before my own life gets too hectic. I have a feeling my schedule is about to go from "98% flexible" to "hardly ever free."

Tidbit

Before the worship service began on Sunday morning a woman I know turned to me and asked if people ever tell me that I look like Oprah. There was a time when that remark would have offended me. But, as a matter of fact, people have told me that I remind them of O, though not that I look like her, per se. Either way, I take it as a compliment now. I don't agree with many of Oprah's opinions on a lot of things, but conceptually, she's a wonderful person to be likened to.

I went to a church information session after the service. I know what the congregation's mission is, generally, but as someone who is back after a long absence, I consider myself starting at the beginning with the benefit of prior knowledge. I was so moved hearing the pastor talk about his vision for this body of believers, and I knew, again, what it is like to want to throw in my lot with this group... to really want to belong to something.

Yesterday, during the trip home (while Gordon slept) Sarah and I discussed this ever present duality in me. The need to slough off associations, to belong to nothing, and the warring need to belong to a community, to belong to people, etc.

I feel safe and unconflicted at this church. I feel people wanting me to belong to them, and so I am unafraid. I feel allowed to guard my solitude, my anonymity when I choose that... allowed to fellowship when that is what I most need.

The trip was pleasant. I've been very detached from the angst of loving Gordon for the last week or so, so by the time Saturday morning came around, I knew I would be fine. That detachment served me well, and I did not feel myself becoming sulky or sullen or sad. We actually had some time alone. Sarah and a relative of hers went off for a half hour jaunt into town, so he and I sat underneath a tree, conversing, joking. It was easy. basic.

We lunched in town at a truly awesome place, and then headed home. Gordon dropped me off at my apartment. I was quiet in the car. I just didn't feel like talking. I'm noticing that I don't tend to have the energy to chat much these days. I am too busy thinking through my "to dos."  I was able to hand off the painting he's shipping to Devika for me. What a relief to know she'll have that soon.

I had a message from the cable company waiting for me. They've taken it upon themselves to reschedule my digital upgrade to Wednesday so that my cable modem installation can happen on the same day. That's fine. My new furniture is also being delivered that day. Yay for the 28th!

So much for that!

I set my alarm for 5 a.m., thinking I would aim to be to work by 7, because I am leaving at about 3:30 today.  Needless to say, since I didn't fall asleep until after midnight, when the alarm did go off, I knew there was no way. None. So, I'm here, roughly at the normal time, and still plan to leave early, because I have furniture to buy!

Thanks to Sarah, my old computer is now packed up and the new one is sitting pretty in my bedroom, all charming and whatnot. Of the many useful features it has, it boasts a DVD rom, which means I can finally watch the three discs I own. I actually have a standard DVD player, but have yet to get the router thing, so I've not been able to use it yet. Soon I'll be operating on all four jets, all my ducks will be in a row, etc.

I'm really thinking that it's time for renter's insurance.

I'm excited to call and donate my old computer to this worthwhile organization. It's fortunate that they will come to get the machine from me (at least I think they will). Tonight Sarah will come over and help me pack it up, and then set up the new machine. On Friday, I am trekking to Value City furniture to order a coffee table, a foyer table, and an end table. Once I have a delivery date for those items, I will set up a cable modem installation appointment, and kill two birds with one stone.

Saturday is the date of the long-awaited trip to Pennsylvania. I'm looking forward to it. Significant time in the car has a way of deepening bonds.

I received an ID card from Hopkins in the mail yesterday, but it said "STAFF." When I called this morning I was told that I have two records in the system (one from when I was an employee from 1995 to 1999), and that the "staff" card overrode the student one. They are correcting the error today and mailing out the correct one.

My stereo is on it's last legs. Of the three disc changers, only one is functioning properly. Fortunately, it's not that expensive to buy a new unit.

I was unexpectedly out of the office yesterday, because my computer was delivered earlier (by several days) than I anticipated it would be. So, now I have the machine, though it is not yet set up. That should happen tomorrow. I'll be getting a cable modem in a couple of weeks because I couldn't schedule the installation of that feature on the same day that I'm upgrading to digital cable (this Sunday afternoon).

I'm happy to be back in the office. I had too much time on my hands yesterday, and the real peach of the whole thing was that the delivery didn't happen until 5:15. I was kind of pissed that I waited till what would have been the end of my work day for something that was to be delivered between 10:30 and 2:00. I called UPS and told the rep how I felt.

On the upside, I did finish the book I was reading.

My Dinner With Gordon
 
I suppose I should rejoice that we are now so "familiar" with each other that he can point out to me that I have something in my teeth, and he can ask me to tell him "the moment [his] hair no longer looks good." I decided to be intentional about having a good time with him on Friday. No matter what preconceptions I had, I decided not to miss the point of the evening, whatever it was. So, I got all zen about it.
 
We sat in a booth that was a bit uncomfortable for me given that it seemed to have been designed with two heroin chic people in mind. Gordon, being slender, had no trouble. I didn't have "trouble," per se. It just wasn't effortless. It was not a secret that something bigger would have accomodated me better. So, I said to myself 'Kate, he can see you. He knows you're not a small person. Sliding into this booth gracelessly wasn't his first tip off.'
 
About two hours before he came to get me, I found myself becoming cripplingly sleepy, so I ate a donut and drank some sweet coffee to wake up. Eating the cake-like treat curbed my appetite, so I hardly ate anything at the restaurant. Gordon, however, was ravenous. I had never seen him wolf down food that way. Quasi-barbaric, but endearing.
 
This was hanging out, in every sense of the word. He chatted animatedly about his week, how he'd been something of a slacker, but hadn't meant to be. I told him that it seemed to me that all of his choices over the course of the last few days had taken him by surprise, and that perhaps making active decisions before he found himself in a moment would allow him more control over the passing of time... that he might get more done. I was playing the Wendy to his Peter Pan.
 
Okay, so whenever he asks about the novel I get non-committal. Gordon respects my poetry so much that he used to carry it around with him wherever he went. I can't let him read the romance novel, which is based on my own life, to some extent. But also, I can't tell him my nom de plume and the title of this pap, and trust that it won't tarnish his image of me as a literary lion. His respect of my art is the most defined thing about our relationship. I don't need that eclipsed by a project I've undertaken on a lark.
 
After dinner we drove around Marble and Resevoir Hills because he wanted to show me the architechtural features of some of the homes there. He told me he knows one thing for sure, and that is that he wants out of Baltimore. Gordon has wanted to leave this town since I've known him, and it keeps not happening for various and sundry reasons that I've always attributed to divine providence. I wonder why Baltimore won't let him go. He looked at me once when we were waiting at a red light and said "Don't you ever get sick of this place?" I kept staring ahead, and told him that I came back to Baltimore because it's where I wanted to be. He shook his head, mildly incredulous that anyone could feel that way.
 
At one point when we were approaching the mouth of I-83, he lamented how many times he'd been on that road, how he knew every bump... how annoying it was.
 
"So, you want to live someplace where you don't know the bumps in the road?"
"Yeah... No, not really..."
"It must be so painful for you to live inside your own head where everything is an immediate contradiction."
"Exactly!"
 
And there you have it. Finding no easy place to park around my neighborhood, we made the mutual, but unspoken decision that he would not come in afterall. And that was okay with me, because I wanted to be alone to think. In some ways it would have been nice if he had been there when I opened my award letter... he would have been the first to know. The cookie didn't crumble that way, though, so I shared my news with my sister, who's alone this week while my mom cavorts in Reno with Jim.

I have always connected with God the most profoundly through my tears--they are the bridge to intimate worship and insight into His heart. This morning during the service I thought about the goal of the Christian, which is to be in fellowship with Christ by way of suffering, indeed, to know him better through a metaphysical death (and eventually an actual one) and resurrection. Being in that place of celebration and corporate worship, I found that my individual experience of His grace was emphasized, and my tears flowed through the duration of the songs and prayers. God was my first experience of acceptance as a child, His heart the first place of true welcome. And in moments of reflection, I long for Him to the point of pain...finding that I would die to disappear into Him, to just hang on Him, and there is no fear of being shunned in that desire.
 
Usually, my thoughts are too much of this world. I am preoccupied with the earth, but when everything but Him is obscured and distant, the joy is fierce, indistinguishable, in some ways, from sorrow. Perhaps this is real seeing, the intermingling of death and love.
 
I am at once sad beyond my own comprehension, and transcendent beyond belief.

Goals
 
I drew up a list of "Personal Goals for Summer 2004," broken out by month (June, July, August). For the most part, I am right on schedule. I've accomplished a few things that were slated for August earlier this month, and in other cases, a given goal might no longer be relevant, so it gets a deletion mark, not crossed out (there is a subtle but important distinction).
 
I'm planning a wardrobe revamp for next month, so maybe I'll work in the manicure I was supposed to get in June, then. Today, I have a hair appointment, then Artscape with Victoria... but first brunch with Sarah and Michael at Cafe Hon.
 
I will talk about last night's dinner with Gordon at some point. It wasn't "bad" by any stretch of the imagination. I just have to figure out the angle from which to write about it.

Sticking the key in the mail slot, holding my leftovers from dinner, I thought to myself 'I guess I've gotten all the good news I'm going to this week.' I  heard a concrete number in reference to my bonus (forthcoming), received the windfall from my old company, and bought a new computer all in the space of about three days. I figured I'd come to the end of my "good run." But, there was one more surprise... Hopkins sent an award letter. I've received a federal loan, more than enough for both semesters.

Gonna Get Myself Connected

I financed a new computer last night. Between my imminent bonus and the cashed out stock from my former company, I should be able to reduce some debt and pay off the loan I got to make this mini miracle happen. It was killing me to have to be online for 40 minutes (in some cases) to send a few e-mails. Anything more involved than that? Forget about it! I opted to buy my printer at a later date. I'm thinking that I'll get one around the time of my mid-August paycheck. My new machine should be arriving next Friday!

The book club has not yet met for various and sundry reasons. Last week it was because two of the four of us, after uncharacteristically busy months, had not progressed with the book. Now, today, one of our members has been knocked out by an unbearable tooth/mouth ache. I'm now on the group's third book--roughly 2 months ahead of schedule. In some ways, I like having my evening free to work on my novel and to eat a leisurely dinner, etc.

No sooner than I wrote the words "I haven't heard from Gordon since last Friday..." he called me at work. He said "I was just driving by your job and thought I'd call you." We talked about nothing in particular for about 10 minutes, during the course of which we also confirmed our dinner plans. I asked him to pick me up from work on Friday so we could eat some place closer to my office. It is his job to pick a place. I'm interested to find out which restaurant he chooses.

We touched briefly on the party I opted not to go to on Saturday. He expressed again that it was a shame I couldn't be there, and I agreed saying that I was "bummed" that I missed it.

Having had some time to think about it, I still think that I wasn't supposed to be at that party because I ended up having some amazing prayer time that night, but the reason I decided not to go was faulty. I am going to try my hardest not to let my insecurites keep me from enjoying my life. And I was rude about the woman to whom he gave a ride. I need to acknowledge that in print just as I maligned her in print. Here's the truth. Whatever her intentions or inclinations, she is a friend of his, and I need to respect her. My relationship with him will not be anything less than it is meant to be because of her or anyone else. Not even I can get in my own way if God is in this thing.

Working from home today has been productive. I feel that my editing is more focused in this space. I went to the dreaded One World for a Swiss chocolate coffee (medium, in case you were wondering)to go, and then came back to my apartment just as it started to rain in fat splats. In an instant mashed potatoes snafu, I ended up using all my half and half so I was forced to venture out for my daily dose. The Swiss chocolate was a great accompaniment to the maple and brown sugar pop tarts. I'll have to remember that combination.

I've been giving my sister "assignments" over the summer, including, but not limited to: developing schematics, assessing her own personal style, and writing essays. She is such a good sport; it actually thrills her to be given a new task. We also have an end of telephone conversation ritual. We each have to tell each other "something good."

Before we're about to say good-bye, one of us (usually me) will say "Let's do our something goods." Essentially, we take a moment to intentionally speak well of the other, to praise an improvement we've noticed, to "bless" an event that's coming up by proclaiming that it will be phenomenal, etc. The Bible says that we should "speak things that aren't as though they were," and that "faith comes by hearing." I guess you'd call them benedictions.

I printed out the 19 or so pages of the romance I'm working on and I see that I need to add some transition paragraphs, and make a decision about the lenght of my heroine's hair. It seems that she moves seamlessly from having a pixie cut on one page to wearing a "severe school marmish bun" on another. I guess I had two different concepts of her. Either way, I think she needs longer hair. No romance novel I ever read featured a heroine with short hair. I need to remember my target audience.

I've decided to work from home tomorrow. I need to focus. Too many interruptions at the office, besides it'll be Wednesday and as I've already established, that is the best day to be out of pocket.

Haven't heard from Gordon since last Friday and we are slated to go to dinner this Friday. I'm hoping he's open to do something in Fells Point. I already told him we're boycotting the One World Cafe: House of Disappointment.

Remembered

I had an increasing feeling of a homecoming in church this morning. A few more people, including the pastor, who were not there last week were in attendance this morning.

I saw the pastor's only son (he has four daughters in addition to this one boy) standing on the steps of the church building, just as he might have six years ago, when I was last there. "I haven't seen you in half a decade," he said smiling. I nodded, affirming that it had indeed been that long.

I remember this person as a young child. Now he's a young man, truly handsome, with the presence of someone who is coming into himself. He's probably been in love and kissed several girls since the last time I laid eyes on him.

The scriptures and worship songs featured in today's service really confirmed things that God has been revealing to me over the course of the year. I felt affirmed by the enthusiastic greeting I recevied from so many old friends, including my beloved pastor, who hugged me warmly after the service. He shared with me that not that long ago he came across the remarks he made about me the Sunday in 1996 that I became an official member of Faith Christian Fellowship. It seemed to me to be foreshadowing of my return.

Another member smiled brightly and said "I hope you are back for a while!" I stayed for the adult Bible study after the service, and talked with a couple of people who became members after I left, and so had no knowledge of my previous life at Faith. It's just easy and right being there--there is no awkwardness when you are where you are supposed to be, I guess.

I've come to the conclusion that I put way too many restrictions on situations and myself in situations, and that this prevents me from enjoying my life as it unfolds. I don't want to miss out because my concept is not lining up with reality. I'm realizing that reality is often better than my idea of what things ought to be.

I napped to Joni Mitchell's "Hejira," which eventually switched to Radiohead's "Kid A," for a couple of hours this afternoon. I woke up this morning at about 9:15, made some pancakes, and ate them while cranking out more of the dime store novel. I now have 18 pages. I guess eating flap jacks and cranking out pulp is tiring work! Now I'm listening to NSync's last studio effort, "Celebrity," drinking some coffee, and getting into the blogging vibe.

In an effort to stay on top of grad school stuff, I have been very proactive with Hopkins though they seem to have forgotten about me right after they admitted me. I wasn't even mailed the Fall semester catalogue, so I went online, downloaded the registration form, and mailed in my course registration. Because I have yet to hear from them about financial aid (and won't find out until the end of July), I had to indicate that my method of payment is TBA. Lame.

The registration office did e-mail me to ask for a promisory note in the event that I don't get any aid. Fortunately, an e-mail from me sufficed, so now I am enrolled in two classes for the fall term. I hope that it's not like pulling teeth every semester.

I am still learning to negotiate the pas de deux that is my relationship with Gordon. Our mutual friend and her husband are throwing a party today, about an hour away. My lack of a car is really beginning to be a problem. Unless I was offered a ride with another Baltimore local, I knew I wouldn't be able to make it. It's just as well, since the parties this person throws tend to be hard for me, for a number of reasons. But, I really wanted Gordon to want me to go. And in the course of an exchange about other things, he did offer to give me a ride. However, he's also giving someone else a ride. As a woman I know that this woman really wants to get close to Gordon, and I didn't think that my being in the car with them would be a good scene. I would be surly and annoyed, and would end up making myself miserable. If you've ever sulked at a party, you know it's not the way to go.

Gordon knows I don't like this person, so when I begged off, I feared that I would come off as childish, but I know whatever impression he has of me for letting this dame be a dealbreaker is better than the one he'd have of me if I lost it on her in his car.

And by the way, she so has a vehicle of her own. Dubious.

It's not that I worry that something will happen between them; I don't. I just hate social usurpers, and that is the kindest thing I could call her. And really, with us both in his car, what would separate us in his mind? We're two women who can't even drive ourselves to a party. I'm too prideful, I know, but I can't play second fiddle to that sociopath.

So, again, I am choosing to take myself out of the equation. I just told him I would see him next week for our dinner engagement. Of course, we also have the roadtrip the week after that. So, I'm being selective about this one event instead of being an ass.

Aromatherapy Dishwashing Liquid

I know that these so-called aromatherapy household cleaning products are the latest marketing ploy, and I have fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. Does anyone need lavender and ylang ylang essences in their Palmolive? Probably not, but that's the kind I just bought. The point is that for under 3.00 you can not only buy a bottle of soap that will last about 3 months (not bad) or more, but you can fancy yourself a progressive, interesting person just by washing your dishes.

So, as I sit in my vintage apartment drinking a double spiced chai, writing a romance novel, and gabbing on the phone with my sister, I have a benevolent feeling of well-being. I'm doing okay for myself, I think, somewhat self-congratulatory. I have cutting edge dishwashing liquid. Right...

Laundry, usually my favourite chore, was made rather complicated last night by an inconsiderate soul. I live in a building that boasts one communal laundry room. Four washers and four dryers. In a building of about 30 to 40 apartments, that is reasonable, but not by any means a lot. I always try to monitor my washer and dryer cycles down to the minute so that others don't have to deal with my lag time, or worse, decide whether or not to remove my clothes so that the machine can be made available.

Some guy was using all four washers when I took down my stuff. They were all silent but full of men's clothing and underwear. I left my basket in the basement and went back upstairs to wait. I waited about 35 minutes before I ultimately removed clothes from two of the four machines. Of course, I had the same issue to confront when it came to the dryers.

Other than that, I had an inordinate amount of trouble with my internet connection, and feel again, the absolute need for a newer, faster computer. Small steps. Small steps.

Dinner, once I finally got it made, was very good. I used a K.C. Masterpiece Honey Terriyaki barbecue sauce, dijon mustard, honey, and brown sugar to baste some spare ribs. I sauteed fresh zucchini in olive oil and sprinkled with salt. It was a nice combination. I'm looking forward to leftovers.

A business-related e-mail to G yielded dinner plans for the 16th. He's still being proactive about getting on my calendar which is a welcome change from the old order of things.

I am so relieved to be going back to work tomorrow. I feel like a fish out of water, and need the structure of tasks and deadlines to give my days a shape.

I've had no agenda since Sarah and I parted ways on Friday night, social or otherwise, and I feel that I am on the verge of losing my sanity. Not only have I finished the first book the group will be discussing this coming saturday, but I have also finished the second book, not to be discussed for another month yet! Of the things I am hoping to get from my church experience, more opportunities for social outings is one of them. I'm sure school will help with that too. I need to be moderately busy or else I lose my focus. Aimlessness is bad for the soul. I updated my resume last night. It took all of five minutes, and then I was idle again.

I did end up seeing my sister for a couple of hours on Saturday night, which was nice, but I'm looking forward to her coming back in a couple of weeks. Artscape will be in full swing the weekend of the 16th and 17th, and I think she'll enjoy going to that.

Let me take a moment to be grateful. I've been kvetching incessantly lately. I am grateful for having engaging outings and plans for the rest of the weekends in July. I am grateful that I have a job which allows me the ability to live alone, pay bills, eat, and enjoy a level of comfort that so many don't have. I am grateful that I am starting grad school in the fall. I am grateful that I will be able to pay off some debts in a few weeks. I am grateful for my relationships with my sisters. I am grateful for the Monday night UPN network. I am grateful for bus fare and clean laundry. I am grateful that I live exactly where I want to live, and finally, I am grateful that God has given me a dream He intends to fulfill.

Have a wonderful night; I hope your tomorrow is even better.

You can't go home again, or can you?

Even though I returned to my beloved Baltimore City two years ago this month, I did not automatically return to the church that had been my home, inseperable from my concept of this town, before I left.

I have always believed that you can't go home again, or rather, that you shouldn't. I didn't want to live the exact same life I had here before. I didn't want to assume that God wanted me to slide right back into my previous niche. I didn't want to be defined by the person I had been back in 1998. I didn't want to run the risk of becoming a cliche.

When I attended Faith Christian Fellowship from 1995 to 1998, there was one type of member I feared becoming. There were about 5 older women who were pillars of the church. Very committed, fun, intelligent women with a lot to offer, and who offered their resources and their time willingly. These women were all upwards of 45, and had never married. They were not likely to be married for a garden variety of reasons, ranging from church demographics (Most men their ages were already married) to aesthetics (a couple of them were not physically attractive). As a 22 year old, I already feared this fate overtaking me. I worried that it was my cross to bear, and the thought of going back to a church I had first attended in the proverbial summer of my life with my proverbial autumn fast approaching, depressed me. The church can be the most lonely place for a single adult who does not have a vision for permanent celibacy.

I still remember quite clearly the Sunday morning I was sitting in one of the front pews when the Lord spoke to me, almost as a sidebar, and said "your husband is not coming through this church." The revelation took me aback, because for once the topic of marriage was far from my thoughts. I was on the outskirts of facing the fact that I knew it was time for me to leave FCF. Shortly thereafter, I did officially leave, and I moved to Gaithersburg by that time the following year.

That piece of information is not what led me to leave, because I remember thinking "Okay, God, well in a couple of years when that's an issue, I'll deal with this." I actually forgot about this conversation the Lord and I had until I was well into the process of withdrawing my membership.

So, my own fears of looking like an old maid coupled with the understanding that the primary relationship of my life would not be initiated through my association there, left me feeling like "what's the point?" when I did come back to town.

I know that "everything works together for the good of those who love God," (Romans 8)so I have to believe that the two years I've been back, not attending Faith, have happened just as they should have. When it was time for me to be in a corporate worship setting again, the Lord made it plain to me, and I was ready to go to see, at the very least, if I should again avail myself to this body of believers, or if I should close the door once and for all.

The more things change the more they stay the same. I saw so many familiar faces. It was as though nothing had changed, yet the faces of the adults I knew and loved are older, hair is gray now (or more gray), wrinkle lines and smile lines are cut deeper. And the children whose wounds I have dressed, whom I taught in Sunday School, that I hugged as babies, not even school age, are all grown up.

I had a very significant friendship with the pastor and his family, especially with his oldest daughter. She was in her early teens when I first came to the church. She is now 24, two years older than I was at the outset.

I sat there singing songs I sang the last time I was there, six years ago, feeling like a prodigal daughter who wonders if anyone will remember her and be glad of her return. I had to confront the fact that I am nearly 31, and things have not gone according to [my] schedule. I have to trust that other people will not see me as I see myself. A failure, an unpopped kernel, a sexless spinster.

I don't know what the ultimate purpose in my returning is, but all I can do is be faithful to what I do know, and go back next Sunday.

Lamb and Rice

After checking in on Karen's cat last night, Sarah and I headed to the Glory Days Grill where we shared a buttery crab dip appetizer. My meal was a less than stellar plate of chicken tenders, but c'est la vie. Afterward we headed to the Barnes and Noble in Towson where I perused several books over a coffee, but purchased none.

I slept in this morning, and enjoyed a couple of pieces of oven toast and peppermint tea before heading to the supermarket to get a few necessities like olive oil and half and half.

Before I left my apartment on Wednesday evening, I set some lamb chops down in the fridge to thaw. Tonight for dinner, I made the last of my basmati rice tossed with scallions and onions and lamb chops pan sauteed in butter and the dijon, honey, balsamic, olive oil, and garlic marinade that I concocted. When the meat was ready, I set the chops on a plate and poured the pan drippings into the rice.

I'm excited about going to church tomorrow morning. I trust that the message, whatever it is, will be timely.

My sister, as it turns out, is not coming. I'll try to connect with her in a couple of weekends, maybe.

Birthday Fusion

This is an interesting time. Wednesday marked Sarah's last day at work;it was another coworker's final day as well (she and her husband are moving back to Miami). We went out for dinner and drinks, a kind of "last hurrah," to commemorate just how much fun it has been to be on this ride together. We were joined by another woman, who, like me, will still be reporting to that pirate operation we call a job on Tuesday morning.

Walking out of the building at the end of the day on Wednesday with Sarah(I actually did make it in for the latter half) gave me a distinct feeling of foreshadowing. I felt like I was leaving for good. I know my departure is imminent, but the end has not yet come for me.

Sarah's birthday was relaxing. We kicked about in the morning, very leisurely and low key. She opened the present I got her at about noon and LOVED it. Later in the day, we had to go to the MVA so she could get her license renewed. She also went clothes shopping and found some great stuff for summer and fall, including a lovely outfit that she wore to dinner last night.

The food was delectable. We all (Michael joined us) got the prix fixe menu, which included a hawaiian sampler appetizer, an entree, and dessert. Michael and I both got Hawaiian Martinis. Ms. Sarah got a Mai Tai. When it was time for dessert, it was chocolate souffle all around. I appreciated that Michael took the liberty of ordering for all of us (after knowing for certain what our selections were). Sometimes it's nice to let someone else just take care of things for you. I felt so honoured when he said "The ladies will have..."

I'm still at Sarah's now, but will be going home in a few hours. My sister is coming to see me tomorrow. I'm looking forward to a weekend of tidying, laundry, and reading. I've been out of the office so much lately, I can't distinguish one day from another. It's all felt like one ongoing fin de semain to me.

The highlight of our day today was the snowcones she made us with the ice shaver Karen gave her. Mine was grape flavoured with Malibu rum.

In other news, I'm on page 2 of the romance pulp novel I'm writing. It will be tres intriguing.

Something else on the horizon:

Going to PA with G and Sarah on the 24th. I have a feeling that will be an outstanding day.