Good Friday

As is usually the case, I was off work yesterday. I try to always arrange to set it apart as a day for contemplating the Cross. Easter, or Resurrection, as some in Evangelical circles have taken to calling it, is a very sombre time for me. I understand the inherent, indisputable joy in the commemoration, but it's a reflective, humbling joy, not an exultant one for me. The joy is no less real than my joy at Christmas... but that is expectant and raucous (which is separate from the despair the commericalized elements of the holiday can produce in me). In any case, yesterday was not one in which I was able to indulge much in the way of holy reflection.

I was at IKEA dropping major bank on curtains for four rooms,including rods and accessories. While I was there I had a look at all of the other stuff I wished I was buying (that I will buy in a month or so)that I also really need, but I tried to keep perspective. The curtains are going to anchor the rooms, give them some added depth, as well as prevent the constant onslaught of the sun while providing some privacy.

Today I have a friend coming to do the requisite drilling and hanging for me. I'm praying that it all goes well. I was told by the property manager that she would put a ladder in the apartment for me to use for this purpose. I have been disheartened by my dealings with her lately and as a result don't really expect her to follow through on verbal agreements--at least not without extra prompting. For instance, none of the things I brought to her attention a week ago (where the apt is concerned) have been addressed. I'm trying to stay positive about it.

After the Great Curtain Escapade, Sarah and I went back to my current apartment and packed up every dish,cup, mug, glass, knife, spoon, fork,and spatula I own. I had someone come and pick up the computer monitor I wanted to give away. As it turned out the CPU is useless, so that went into the garbage a couple of days ago.

What remains to be done now is some linen laundry next week, some cleaning, and some arranging of the boxes so that the movers can get to the furniture with ease. I have a formal walk-through at the new place on Thursday, which I will be showing up to with copies of e-mails and typed up lists of issues. Often,people don't get serious until there's a paper trail. That same day I'm having some furniture delivered,my new dining room table and chairs will be among the items. It really is getting close now. I'll try to post photos of the new space as it takes shape.

It was odd, I have to say,that while running into the bank to make a deposit yesterday afternoon, I saw gordon. He didn't see me, which is obviously for the best. The realization occurred in stages. First, I noticed a car that looked like his, then, the plates confirmed that it was indeed his, then I saw a man--him, I determined, walking toward it to get in. I was across the street from him.

What is odd is that other than the surprise of suddenly seeing someone that I haven't seen in well over a year, I didn't feel undone the way I assumed I might if I ever ran into him. The way I undoubtedly would have felt 6 months ago if this had happened then. I wondered, to myself, what the significance of seeing him was. The answer came to me fairly quickly. It was so I would know that I'm no longer enmeshed. So I would know that I could see him and immediately proceed with my life and my plans as though nothing much had happened, because it isn't anything much to see him. Not now.