Unexpectedly, I am home today. I am waiting for a package of incredible importance, and my rental office is not open on Wednesdays (UPS would normally leave parcels with the leasing agent). I'll end up making up the hours since I am taking an unscheduled day. Tomorrow and Friday were planned vacation days, so with Monday the 5th off in addition, I will not be returning to work till just shy of a week from now.

I had a great conversation with Gordon yesterday. When I got in from work, I had a very uncomplicated, but pronounced desire to talk to him, so I called him with no agenda except to hear his voice. He was on his way to church, so we talked for the length of his drive. I enjoyed hearing his obvious pleasure when I said "I just had the urge to talk to you..." I told him about the macked out present I'm getting Sarah (which is the package I'm waiting for), we chatted about him going up to Boston to maybe do a cityscape for Catchka. I joked that I am essentially his art dealer and that I have gigs planned for him that he didn't even know about. It was nice to be the voice in his ear, knowing I was having that moment with him, without physically being there.

I know you're thinking "Jeez. It was a phone call. What's the big deal?" The thing is that G and I don't really have a phone relationship. We primarily do e-mail and face to face visits, so oddly enough, a call is a real treat. Honestly, i felt so content afterward, that I sipped honey right from the plastic container. Access to him is much easier than I make it a lot of the time. I realize that if I want this man's heart, I can't see it as an elusive thing. Gordon is very uncomplicated in some ways. I mean, he has funks that he slips into, but he prizes the presumption of other people. It makes him feel loved when he is called out of himself into another place.

We are both instinctively internally focused, so it will take effort to make the leap. I'm not saying I plan to be the only one making this effort, but I can and should sometimes. Little moments of courage, like ringing him up out of the blue. A needless boundary erased.