I can't sleep. I feel anxious about a great many things at the moment, and rest is elusive. It's been an interesting day. Essentially, I seethed over feeling unimportant to G from last night until about 5 p.m. this evening, and felt justified in stewing until it dawned on me that I'd handled the situation with him very passive-aggressively. I did a bit of soul searching and came to the conclusion that I needed to apologize to him for employing "conversational parlour tricks" (i.e., sarcasm as a smoke screen for hurt feelings) instead of asking him if he would have rather ended early and tried to get together another time... or, at least letting him know how bad I felt that he was so distracted. Honesty is disarming. Instead, by joking about it, I allowed him to not have to really address the issue, and it did us both a disservice.

He's replied, essentially saying that it [my infraction] was no big deal, and apologizing for being so tired. He vowed to have a double espresso next time so he'd be ready to talk. Why don't I feel better?

What I neglected to mention about our evening is a lot. There were several nice elements...encouraging sentiments, and at the end of all of it, I did enjoy seeing him. I think I just put way too much pressure on myself to have every interaction with him be great. I need to step back from that mindset, because it's preventing me from letting things come as they will.

I think that my completely out of synch sleep schedule has compromised my perspective on this and other matters, so I am going to take a mental health day to recover some lost ground. It's just shy of 3 a.m., and I'm not in bed, so going in to work tomorrow would not be pretty.

On other fronts, I'm noticing that my manager is still ruling with an iron fist, even though her days at the company are rapidly dwindling (3 left). I guess it's hard to let go.

CATS was wonderful, by the way. I am not usually a fan of musical theatre, but this was an engaging show. I especially appreciated how much care the actors took to really emulate the movements and behaviors of felines. Really a very credible presentation, especially for regional dinner theatre, which I've found to be lacking in other instances.