All is Not Lost

About 3 months ago, I thought I left my favourite bra in St. Mary's City, MD. It was the weekend of my youngest sister's school's Family Weekend, and in the hubbub of checking out of our hotel and saying our good-byes, I left it behind. I didn't notice for some weeks....and as much as I was bummed (it was not only my favourite, but also a recent purchase, and therefore doubly disappointing), I was resolute and gave it up as permanently gone.

As I sat up late on Christmas Eve watching DVDs with my sisters, Caryl turned to me abruptly and said "Crystal has your purple bra." Apparently, she saw it and took it home to upstate New York with her, and forgetting she'd done so, never mentioned it to me...but she did remember to bring it back to MD. Something that in the scheme of things was not that important, so completely given up on by me, returned in an instant.

On Friday night, My thumb ring slid off my hand and dropped almost soundlessly in Jim's car. He and my mom came to get me that evening after I spent the day waiting for UPS (one successful delivery, but unfortunately not the package containing my sister's present). I did not worry at that time that I couldn't find it, because I knew I'd have a chance to look for it before they took me back home on Sunday...but I began to fear that I would never see it again as I sat in the back seat last night, wordlessly scrounging for it, and not finding it anywhere. I enlisted mom's and Jim's help in the search when we pulled up to my apartment, but we came up empty.

My mom helped me get some things inside and when she left, she asked me if I wanted to walk her back down to the car. I felt on a visceral level that I should, because if I did, my ring would be waiting for me, but I said no--not wanting to be disappointed. Before my mom got out of the door, the phone rang. It was jim saying he'd found it.

I remember once that I lost a grey beret outside on St. Paul Street. I was going to the movies at the Charles Theatre to see Amelie with Victoria and a couple of other guys. Once inside the moviehouse I realized I didn't have it, and deduced that I must have dropped it someplace between the car and the theatre. I was preoccupied that night with some other internal angst, and losing my favourite hat was a crushing blow.

When we walked back to the vehicle later that night, there was my hat lying on the ground outside the car, perfectly kept, and unsoiled. In that moment, I heard God say to me "everything you thought you'd lost, I have kept for you."

This is our shorthand. I lose an object that is important to me, make my peace with the loss, and when I genuinely no longer expect it, it comes back. This is His way of saying "I have the final word on what's gone forever and what's not..."

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. God restores all things, great and small. He who is concerned about my soul is also concerned about my bras and my dimestore treasures. He cares about all of it. He cares for me.