lonesome cup of coffee

ice upon ice upon ice. I am home again, working for roughly half the day. Then I'm going to tuck myself into a corner of my overstuffed couch and read, ruminate, and watch incredibly bad late afternoon television.

all night long ice splatted against my windows, sounding like a thousand freshly poured bowls of Rice Krispies--such a concert of snapping, crackling, and popping! I woke up off and on for a period of hours, but eventually I settled into the noise, made my peace with it as best I could.

I dreamed about my father. My whole family, really. In the dream my middle sister had made the decision to take back a negligent, purposeless boyfriend. I disapproved and could not hide it. Her poor choice had some direct bearing on a family trip or something like that... My father tried to speak to me about it. I said pointedly to him "I hold her completely responsible for this!" Just as pointedly, he said to me "She knows that!"

The point of this dream, I understand, is that when you are judging someone, holding their bad choices against them, they always know and no relationship can move forward from that place. That's what my father was trying to tell me.

In any case, I'm up now and working. Drinking what is a positively lonely little cup of coffee, and am not wishing for anything in particular, besides.