Anatomy of a first (and only) Date:

He was late, not unforgivably so, but late enough that I bought my own decaf cappuccino to justify taking up table space. I decided that I would wait until 8:30 before I gave up and left. A half an hour late means one of two things: the person is unavoidably and thoroughly waylaid or he is not coming. At 8:15 my date (who, I quickly realized, peaked in his not-that-great-to-begin-with photo) arrived.

There was an instant, simultaneous realization that this would be our one and only date. I saw in his face the mirror image of my own epiphany and I was...relieved. It is possible to meet someone for an uncomplicated coffee and to leave it with absolutely no feeling of awkwardness because it didn't mean more to one of you than the other. This is the experience of mutuality I've been waiting for my whole life!

If nothing else ever happens with this Dating Schematic I'm spearheading, this object lesson is worth the money I spent to join the site and for the cappuccino.

Once I realized I was absolutely free to not care about anything he said, I engaged him from a place of almost academic curiosity. His aspirations? To write children's books (he feels that the illustration doesn't have to be that great... it's only for kids, afterall... I know. Don't say it.)
What would stop him from pursuing this dream? If he got some girl pregnant. (He must seem like a real prizewinner right about now. He actually wasn't bad at all... It was a joke... I think.)

We migrated to the safe topics. Things like "Top 5 Books," and "So, what kind of poetry do you write, exactly?"

My personal favourite moment of the night? When I told him that my master's concentration was poetry and he said:

"Oh, I thought it was creative writing."

I thought about letting that slide. But then I said:

"Some would argue that poetry is creative writing..."

[Confused silence]

"...but you are probably thinking of fiction when you say 'creative writing.'"

To which he replied:

"Yeah... like, plot."

My second favourite moment of the night?

When I decided that I would only stay for as long as my drink lasted and then left as soon as it was finished. My companion actually ordered food, which was fine. Luckily, we finished up at about the same time.

We had been talking about what we each hope to "get" from online dating (we agreed that something about it continues to feel 'inorganic.')

I loved what he said when I put the question to him:

"Not a damn thing."

So, once I drank the last drop, I said:

"Well, my coffee is done and you're done... so, I have to be going. Even though you're not staking your life on this thing, I wish you luck." And I shook his hand.

Speaking of plot.

The next installment of The First Date Chronicles will go live on Monday night. That's when I have my next adventure in the world of meeting-men-for-beverages-so-I-have-anecdotes- about-which-to-blog.