Gordon just left. He came over to give me one of only four copies (that he has) of the San diego Jewish Times on which one of his paintings was used for the cover, and that features a brief write up on him. He said that he wanted me to have it (after I asked him how I might get a hold of one) because I've been such a strong supporter of his work for such a long time. That was gratifying to know that he values my support. I haven't been able to tell if he values me at all lately--and yet, at the risk of undermining his appreciation, I have to say that valuing my support is not the same as valuing me.

I have not seen him in almost 3 months. What is so interesting to me is that after a hiatus of half that time last year, I saw him for the first time in a month and a half on February 27, 2003. One day shy of a year ago. I guess he just hibernates emotionally in the winter months, and emerges around March. I can tell that for as much as his absence hurt and perplexed me, he thinks nothing of it. This has not been weird for him. And it has not been personal.

I hoped it wouldn't be awkward (because of me feeling awkward), and it wasn't. We chatted amiably about several things...what we've been up to, which isn't much--though significant things have transpired in our lives. I, of course, am mobilizing to attend grad school. He decided to return to the Anglican church, and left catholicism. He made that decision in December, and thought he'd told me. He was convinced he had. I found out last week, when he mentioned it in an off-handed manner.

When he left he told me to call him or e-mail him (his usual way of ending our visits), and I guess that means things are back to normal.