Separation Anxiety

I feel that I haven't blogged in days. Sarah and I woke up yesterday morning at about 7 a.m., showered, dressed, and headed to her storage unit in Montgomery County where we met her parents who were waiting with a Penske truck in tow. A small group of friends were also present to help us with this first of three legs of the move.

Long story short, it went off without a hitch. A good friend of mine, the illustrious Quill and her invaluable brother were the indisputable stars of the day. It really touched Sarah, because Quill hardly knows her, and Quill's brother had never met her before Saturday. Everyone was so generous with time, help, and resources.

I have been trying to prepare for tonight for a week. This is my first night in the apartment as the sole occupant (I stayed at her new place last night). It feels empty because Sarah's essence is really not here now, though a few of her possessions still linger (like this laptop that I will take with me to work tomorrow), but it is clear that she does not live here anymore.

I asked her last night if she had disengaged, psychologically speaking, from this apartment. She had--and she should--but it's still a bit sad. I am not worried about not seeing her enough (we work together!), and I am not worried about not being in her life, but it is the end of an era. We have been roommates for four and a half years, and while I have dreamed of the autonomy that is part and parcel of living alone, I find that I feel alone, and miss her so much I don't think I'll make it to bed tonight without crying.

Sarah, know that you are the best friend I have in this life, and though it's time now for us to have our own space again, I loved living with you. Sleep well, honey.