I ordered a chocolate martini; he ordered his straightup; Greg just had water.

The three of us went to dinner at the City Cafe, which is walking distance from my apartment. It was probably some of the easiest, most complete banter I've had in awhile. I was very animated, inspite of my plans to try and be subdued. Don't ask me why I thought I should try for that, but I failed miserably. So much the better.

The conversation ran the gamut of fairly serious stuff to the absolutely anecdotal, including talks about the letter I'd just recently mailed to my stepdad. Gordon acknowledged the difficulty involved in coming to the place of being able to do that. At different points throughout the night, he implied, with his comments how much he knows me. He would refer to specific stories about my family or friends that I've told him, and he would ask me to share them with Greg.

He knows enough about me to have a reference for my stories. We are better friends now than we've ever been.

We both got the jambalaya (I originally ordered the stuffed portabello mushrooms, but they were all out), and then finished off by sharing a slice of oreo cheesecake. I felt really comfortable eating around him last night, which used to be difficult for me, because I worried about how he was seeing me in light of my weight...

Maybe it was some sick quest of mine to be discovered, but I let them know that I keep an online journal, though I told them that I write under a pseudonym. I don't think it's a trail he'll follow, but obviously I didn't really care in that moment.

I do care that he mentioned getting his film from Victoria's wedding developed, and that he said there was a particularly nice one of me. This would be the one he took across the crowded room... I do care that when I came into the lobby of my apartment building to meet them last night he was the first to turn around and see me, and that he seemed to glow when he flashed me that megawatt smile.