Operation: First Date Update

As most of you know (or have read), I joined a dating site last month with one goal in mind. I wanted to have gone on at least one date by this point. I have been on four, one of which felt like an actual date (i.e., sparks and he paid).

I have not been on a single outing in the last two weeks (the one second date I had scheduled was postponed) for a couple of reasons. A looming deadline at work required a greater degree of my emotional energy than usual, so I didn't much feel like doing the leg work to set up meetings with strangers, and the chemistry from my last first date kind of derailed me. I believe one could say I was trippin'.

Well, today was my deadline (soundly met, thank you, God) and I feel much lighter, much more capable of engaging the part of me that was shut down for the last 14 days.

I don't want to give the impression that there's been absolutely no activity at all. I have begun a conversation with someone who is looking for friends only--he's on his way back to town from the west, where he moved for a year. But today, after work, and before going to see "The Namesake" at The Charles, I wrote to two men. One guy is clear about the fact that he's looking for friends only (he's taken himself out of the "dating loop." I seriously wonder if that's some kind of angle he's working) and another man that I've thought about writing to before, but just didn't.

I went for a mid-morning walk (around the parking lot of my office building) and I said a prayer (something I'm doing more and more lately)for some semblance of normalcy and balance. For the last five days I haven't been able to get my head right no matter what I tried. I just couldn't make sense of basic, true things about my life.

So, my campaign continues in its original spirit. I want to go on as many first dates as possible (but only with men that I truly find intriguing in some way--I'm not indiscriminant). I'd forgotten my goal: To have interesting experiences, to be open to things I wouldn't normally be open to enjoying. This is not about true love. It's not about second dates. So I'm looking to schedule the next First Date.

In the meantime, I'm dating my damn self (see reference to taking myself to the movies above).