I've been trying not to blog out of my anxiety, hence the brief, sporadic posts of late. Things are good...deadlines at work loom large, but with an all-hands-on-deck philosophy, our team is making it, together, as we are wont to do.

As for the dating realm, things have been rocky, but not in a way that is totally awful. I had an excellent first date a week ago tonight and a pretty stellar text message the next morning which did much to buoy my spirits. The gentleman really enjoyed himself.

And then? Days of not much. Then,on Wednesday morning a follow-up e-mail; then some more texting, and I found myself, well...shutting down toward this person. Even once outing number 2 was scheduled for this sunday afternoon, I started to talk myself out of liking him (I told two people today that maybe I wouldn't enjoy him half as much in broad daylight).

I don't like having the rhythms of my life upset too much. After years of being twisted up in in knots all for naught, over a man, I am extremely protective of my sanity. I hated that I was all wound up wondering if I was actually going to see this person again. Just before he got back in touch (about four days after the first date) I was getting ready to write the experience off as a fluke.

After talking at length with Sarah about this I can see that I'm trying to do that preemptive thing again. It's tricky for me; I'm a complete dating novice (not to mention generally intolerant of having to wait). Truthfully speaking, I was just too excited about this guy too fast, which did nothing for my perspective.

He actually waited a judicious beat before contacting me again. Something that I would completely respect and attribute to a wonderful sense of pacing under normal circumstances(if I hadn't lost my mind completely there for a while).

So, in an effort to keep it real and to keep my peace of mind in check, I'm moving back to the middle. Whatever happens I'm vowing to have a measured reaction to it.