Reorienting

Save for a few hours on Friday night, I spent the entire weekend away from my little city apartment. On Friday night, Catchka came to collect me to spend the night with her at her parents' place in Westminster. Saturday was to be a family wedding (her family) in PA, and I was invited as her guest. Her mom made the wedding cake and I was allowed to help out with small finishing touches (and I was on hand to eat spare frosting--hey! someone had to). The highlight of the reception for me was seeing C dance with her cousin (a tremendous dancer)in the most carefree,gorgeous way. I love to see people really enjoying themselves in a non self-conscious way--the way one moves when one has lost any notion of what anyone else may be thinking. Distilled beauty, etc.

Catherine was good enough to drop me at Sarah's after the reception. S and I watched about an hour of the "What's Happening!!" marathon on TVLand before heading off to bed. This morning we ran some work-related errands (for Sarah), ate out, and spent time at Borders Bookstore in the county, reading. I purchased the next book on my Austen Reading List--Northanger Abbey--because my time with Emma was drawing to a close.

After going out to dinner we wrapped up our evening at a coffee shoppe to do some more reading (it was here that I finished Emma), afterwhich Sarah brought me home. I immediately set to tidying up my place, which I left in a state of disrepair from a busy week. After a while S called to tell me I'd left my new shoes (the ones I bought for and wore to the wedding) in her car.

My allergies are killing me! I've been sneezing something terrible. No doubt the dust I kicked up during my cleaning frenzy didn't help matters.

I've made a discovery. I don't have the constitution that is necessary for online dating. For the last few weeks I've had an active profile on a leading (and reputable) Internet dating site, and it has yielded only small interest (both on my side and the part of available men), and the reception I have received has led me to the following conclusion: I have a target audience and I am not reaching them. The men who made efforts to contact me are not ones with whom I would be interested in even conversing, by and large. But more than anything else, it just doesn't feel natural to me. I really would just like a more organic context (or an actual context)in which to meet someone. To that end I've cancelled my unremarkable membership (which was only at the most basic level--I never paid a dime for all the bells and whistles--it was just a preliminary experiment). I've removed my profile and made myself unviewable to the other members of the lonelyhearts club. I'm glad I did it though. It was a helpful exercise in many ways.

Seinfeld was right. 98% of the population is undatable!