I had a dream that my mother had finagled a wedding for me by telling my intended that I was carrying his child--which was not true for one, and furthermore: this person and I had never known each other, in the biblical sense, but this was a dream, and in a dream you can be carrying someone's child under such circumstances.

In an effort to do the right thing, G had agreed to marry me, but his heart was otherwise engaged. I had agreed to the marriage not knowing, initially, that he'd been duped--and once I caught on, it was too late, too awkward to tell the truth.

My mother drove me to the ceremony in my ill-fitting dress; I got there only to realize I'd left my veil at home, and was, instead, wearing a sombrero. I talked to G on the phone and apologized that "we were in this mess," and he said "well just think of the funny stories we'll all have to tell each other when we live together." By "all" I knew he meant him, me, and the baby.

My mother was "too busy" to go and get my veil, so I asked a coworker to retrieve it for me. The time for the ceremony was approaching, but G was still not there, though everyone was waiting. I understood that he fully intended to show up, but that his indifference toward me had made him unmindful of the time. So, I got on a bus and went to his apartment to intervene. He had just gotten out of the shower when I arrived, still in my ill-fitting wedding dress. I told him the truth--that I'd thought about going through with the wedding anyway, but that I knew his heart wasn't in it--that he loved someone else.

He was so completely relieved that he didn't even hold my mother's trickery against me.

When I woke up I realized that the "me" in the dream was not me as I am now, but as I was--in terms of weight and appearance--the last time he saw me.