auld lang syne, baby

should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?

out with the old

Dragging

Last night's meal sat in my stomach like lead. I got up a few times with indigestion-related discomfort. I didn't even get into bed until after 11, so being up at 1 made my hopes of waking at 5 for spin seem bleak. But I did it. Man, I really feel all those carbs, fats, and sugars I ate for the last several days. I need a major detox.

I ate significantly lighter during the day today, but being exhausted really impacted my productivity. I need a lot of sleep, a lot of exercise, more water, and less caffeine.

Catchka and I celebrated the holiday together this evening at Sammy's Trattoria. Really love what they're doing with their calamari these days... so, while my dinner was once again on the rich side, it was very pared down from last night.

I'm looking forward to simple fruits, low-fat proteins, low sugar oatmeal, and progresso soups for the next several weeks. I'm betting I gained about 5 pounds.

That's okay, though. My sister gave me this amazing black dress that I fit into now (and I look stunning in it--something I would not say lightly), but that I'll be unstoppable in in about 6 pounds (from my baseline weight, not holiday weight). I keep saying it, but it's really time to start toning seriously. There's a sculpt class on Saturday mornings that I want to look into.

Holiday Wrap Up

My sister, Caryl, arrived last Monday (the 17th) for a 5-day visit with me before our other sister, Crystal, came on Saturday (the 22nd) to take us to the DC area for family holiday festivities. I worked all of last week, but with that pre-holiday energy in the air, it flew by. Caryl and I visited with E on Tuesday night, Sarah on Wednesday and Friday nights, and Catchka on Thursday evening (we rode up to the suburbs that night after C spent the day with me at work--what a trooper).

Facing up to my financial limitations meant that I bought no gifts for family or friends this year (and asked them to limit their financial burden by not gifting me), but I did take my sister out for several meals and managed to donate some of my resources to charity (something I committed to last year). It wasn't ideal, but I think everyone understood. It was freeing, actually, to realize that I had no disposable income. No stressful shopping, no last-minute present wrapping, etc., so all of my energy resources were topped off and I enjoyed spending time with people.

It was so meaningful to go see an inexpensive light show at Watkins Park with my sisters, to visit with Crystal's friends, to spend several nights with my mom, the girls, and my sister's husband, and step-son. Christmas dinner with Crystal's in-laws was completely enjoyable (I thought it might be weird).

And because it seems that no holiday is complete without some sort of collapse, there were a couple of "incidents" that revealed trouble spots in the family dynamic, but all in all, not too bad. Oh, and there was the slip about the small, informal NYE gathering at my place to my mother, who is not invited for obvious reasons, but who I knew would nevertheless, be hurt. I think I explained it to her so she understands...

I've given a lot of thought to 2008 and what I think I need to focus on in the coming year. Fiscal responsibility, fitness responsibility, and career shifts are at the top of the list. My biggest worry for tonight, though, is the fact that I'm so used to going to bed after 1 that I don't think I'll be tired at a reasonable hour. There will be hell to pay tomorrow as I attempt to get back into the routine of the workday.

I won't get into how poorly I ate, but I will leave you with this: I enjoyed a satisfying gnocchi with bolognese for dinner tonight (accompanied by an amicable Seurat) at Della Notte with Sarah and her parents. Tomorrow, I spin.

Apron Strings

I woke up earlier than usual for me on a Sunday morning so I could complete the textiles load of laundry before heading off to church. In said load of laundry was one of my two aprons--last worn by Sarah during prep time on the night of the Autumnal fete. I've never been one to wear an apron. Nothing against them--I just don't usually think of it. Anyway, after removing it from the laundry basket, I got the ridiculous urge to try it on. My slimmer figure gave me a new appreciation for this utilitarian item.

Because I'm wearing my favourite turtleneck sweater and didn't feel like removing it to make sundried tomato bruschetta & guinness meatballs (turkey meatballs), I decided to get some use from that apron. How useful these are!

At Williams-Sonoma this afternoon I actually saw a gingerbread man appliqued onto a bright red Christmas apron and I had buyer's lust (I didn't make the purchase on account of the fact that I've sworn off superfluous spending for the foreseeable future)--very strange, indeed.

So, the real point of this post is that I actually cooked tonight. Since my weightloss efforts were resumed in mid-May my approach to food preparation is very bare bones. I do prepare most of my own foods, but cooking has not been a source of creativity for me at all. I know there's a way to do low-cal, low-fat stuff that's involved and interesting, but that's not my approach.

These meatballs are neither low-fat nor low-cal. I am making them in honour of the fact that my sister will be staying with me this week and I wanted to have something special ready for her first night in town. We'll have them over whole wheat linguini with some sort of vegetable.

My dinner tonight will be sole fillet with garden herbed cheese w/asparagus in a tortilla wrap. Very low-fat. Very low-cal.

In other news, I've lost my steam with The Fountainhead. I'm not going to force it. In other, other news: I have it on very good authority that I've become a real Scrooge. Heard this today just as I was pondering that I understand quite well how good old Ebenezer got to that place of miserly misery.

One thing is abundantly clear

I really do not like Folgers coffee--even their newfangled "gourmet" brand falls far below the mark. I bought some this morning from Rite-Aid because the "Vanilla Biscotti" blend was only 3.99 for a full-size bag (and I am on a budget!). It's passable. I can drink it. I will drink it, too, while thinking about the fact that I just bought myself about 25 cups of mediocre coffee for the price of one grande Starbucks concoction.

I'm off today, but I've gotten more accomplished than I do on most mornings. So typical of not being at work. I woke up at 5:30, headed to the gym for a cross-country workout on the elliptical, then came home to help Caryl add finishing touches to a final paper. After that, I headed off to the grocery store to pick up some gift cards and rations for the weekend. On my way home from the gym, I stopped to get laundry detergent, dryer sheets, and the aforementioned coffee (bleah!), so I was all set to get a couple of loads going as soon as I put my tofu away.

Now I am happily listening to the Classic Tales Podcast--installment 2 of Dickens' A Christmas Carol. At about 3, I head to my undergrad alma mater to attend the Madrigals Dinner to hear Caryl sing with the chamber choir. I'm dressing in a further-slimming black turtleneck and matching dress pants. Wish I had time to get my nails done beforehand...

Spirit Lifts

• Have already noted a weightloss this week
• Former prof sent me text of his reccommendation letter [i almost just typed rejection letter]

I did not waive my right to see it, so it was purely ethical for him to do so. He figured it was a good day for an ego boost and it was. Not that anything remarkably stressful or bad happened. It was just the same annoying crap on shuffle and repeat.

• finished up some work at home so that means I start the morning (after spin) with a clean slate
• tomorrow is my last day at work this week (not that I won't be putting in weekend hours)
• am seeing Sarah tomorrow night for dinner when she arrives back from LA

Various and Sundries

I really want to go to church this Sunday. Not just because it's the Christmas season, but because I feel really disconnected from my beliefs. For a number of reasons, it's become vital this week that I reengage before the void I feel becomes any more pronounced. I know I've written some diatribes about the lack of relevance the church can seem to have for someone in my particular situation (unmarried woman in her 30s), but I've tried not going, and I don't think the trade-off is worth it.

I've been a machine at work for the last few weeks, but yesterday and today were especially good. After the best spin class in weeks (lots of driving beats and good jumps), I hit the ground running at the office.

[sidebar: Had coffee before spin this morning. Have discovered that drinking coffee before exercising makes the workout kill. I had water during, too, of course.]

Back to the office. Some kind soul had already warmed up the colour copier by the time I went upstairs, so some pages I needed to insert into my manuscript prior to comp release were completed with minimal drama. Then I spent the rest of the morning approving digitals, responding to e-mails, and closing loops.

By 11 or so, I settled in with the lessons I needed to correlate and was only minorly distracted by the fact that I really wanted to hear from Sarah how her flights had gone. She called once she landed at her first location, but I always worry whenever anyone I love is traveling--I hoped the second and longest leg of her trip would go equally well (it did).

A quick text message to my former thesis advisor around lunch time yielded good news. His letter of reccommendation got to the assistant director of admissions at my prospective university--my application is now complete and can begin moving through the process. The application deadline is still the better part of two months away, so it's not as if having everything in so early will mean that I find out any sooner than I would have, otherwise, but at least now I don't have to think about it. It's fortunate that my big project at work will be wrapping up right at about the time when the committee will be making its decisions. The spring will be rejuvenating and will hopefully mean good news for my academic future.

In lieu of new podcasts to keep me entertained and informed, I listened to my iTunes library on shuffle. That is always such a revelation. I have that song? I thought more than once today. Listening to the music in a random context reinvents it too. I have little pet songs and playlists that I gravitate to so I end up ignoring 90% of my collection most of the time.

Speaking of playlists, I am going to make one purely for spin. There is one spin bike in the main section of the gym for individual use (outside of the class context). It's my new challenge to come up with a routine for myself in January. this will require quite a lot thought--I basically have to choreograph a workout. My first self-imposed assignment of 2008. I don't feel alive if I don't have a project.

So, with that in mind, a schema for the first quarter of the new year:

Lose final 10 pounds
Get short-ish [razor] haircut with highlights
weekly manicures
Resume 5-day weeks at gym
(travel in November derailed me somewhat. I derailed myself the rest of the way)
Church attendance--regardless of my "issues" with it
(they have nothing to do with the faith itself--just the social construct)

Doable, I think.

Lit!

Scheduled Power Outage

so, BGE calls and leaves a courtesy message. They are turning off all the power in my section of the neighborhood in order to make some urgent repairs. From midnight tonight until 6:15 tomorrow morning, it's lights out.

I've decided to sleep in because waking up at 5, walking down 6 flights of stairs with all my gym gear, lunch stuff, stacks of editing to take back to the office, etc., with a flashlight as my only source of illumination just seems like I'm asking to fall and break something. I went to the gym Sunday, Monday, and today, so tomorrow will just be a day off. I may do my resistance bands routine tomorrow evening, but that's totally TBD.

Once I finish this glass of hybrid Merlot/Tempranillo, I'm turning in. Cell phone alarm is set. All systems are go for a 6:30 wake up. Ah. Sleeping in! How sad is it that waking up at 6:30 will really feel decadent?

Trounced!

Last night after work Catchka and I headed to Annapolis for dinner and a game/trivia night with Jason and Deb. I met, for the first time, Deb's and Jason's daughters, Zoe and Ketzel. I am in love. Such happy, warm, socially facile little people. Zoe is such an artist. I have one of her masterpieces on my fridge right now, because of course she immediately presented me with a picture that she'd drawn upon meeting me.

More later... my ride is here. Will discuss the historic game of Trivial Pursuit and how if the battle of the sexes came down to pie/wedge getting, women would be back in the dark ages.