Rectified

I attended/participated in the spring thesis reading at the university tonight so that I could secure an effective grade change (my grade was docked last semester for not attending that term's reading). Most of you know that I have struggled to see the value in this exercise, but that I was willing to do it in order to get the less than stellar grade off my record.

Listen. I believe in Redemption. I believe it comes to us--if we welcome it--in great and small ways. The chair of the program came up to me tonight, before the reading and told me that he was glad to see me there, that he was looking forward to hearing my poetry, and that he was, again, sorry about last term. That I didn't deserve what happened. He said that my Now Former Thesis Advisor is a big fan of mine, so he is a big fan of mine. Afterward, he encouraged me to keep in touch, told me to invite him to the book party... these simple statements turned my heart toward this event. His sincerity changed me.

And the thesis coordinator hugged me and thanked me for coming. His sincerity, too, turned my heart. His warmth changed me.

In the scheme of things, though this ordeal has been significant, it hasn't been too big a part of my life. The fact that I should have been afforded such a corrective experience regarding something so comparitively marginal gives me hope that the things that have impacted me more deeply than this will someday be made right.

Several people said encouraging things to me about the poems I read afterward. I felt like a writer again. Something I haven't felt since last semester.