full interrogating the place i'm in

i've had a few opportunities to see into my own self in the last few months. i've rarely liked what i've seen. the old impulse toward irrational anger, the tendency to control, to not see possibilities, and to stay stuck also remain. i do not think of 2009 as having been a categorically bad year, though it is destined to be thought of as the collection of months when i mostly regressed.

the good things, though, are these:

i wrote about 10 new poems that have somewhere to go
i read my work twice in public
i won a msac individual artist grant
i (grudgingly) left a job where i was stuck and took steps to have the job i should have,
so i'm teaching my first undergrad writing course as adjunct faculty this spring

now to take another step. and do my syllabus. now to take the reins back more fully. now to be more intentionally walking in the right direction.