The Art of War

In addition to running a few birthday-related errands yesterday, Sarah and I checked out Ukazoo, a used bookstore in Towson. It's the nicest, most spatially appealing of its kind. Best of all, they serve local coffee gratis, and provide liberal cushy seating. I didn't have a specific purchase in mind when we went. In fact, I didn't even know about the store before Sarah mentioned it. After ambling around aimlessly, I thought of a book that's always on the periphery of my list of those to read "sometime." I looked in what would seem to be the obvious places, but came up empty. The store's computer indicated they had it, but I found myself frustrated when I went to the places (more than one, yes) I should have been able to find at least one of a few versions of it.

In the middle of my search, Sarah called me over to where she was to have a consultation. After giving her my opinion on a few of her titles, I walked off, and tripped on an irregularity in the carpet. My coffee sloshed, and I lurched forward so that I was eye level with Sun Tzu's The Art of War.

I had also hoped to pick up some of the early Tess Monaghan novels, but there weren't any. There were hardbacks of a few of Laura Lippman's novels—some Tess and some stand alone--that I had already read, though. In addition to Sun Tzu, I left with Baltimore Noir (gritty, seamy underbelly stories that take place in the city of sometimes questionable charm), edited by Lippman, The Complete Kama Sutra, and a girl detective story, because I am a sucker for those.

Happy 51!

MJ Birthday Block Party!

one week, two years

one week from tonight, i will be 36. one week from tonight at this time, there will be a party well underway at my house. there may be games. there will certainly be cocktails. i will have had a hair appointment. i will be lit from within by my own sense of self-actualization. my aura will be amber. my energy, undeniable.

it's begun to occur to me that i want a child. two years from now, i'll be well into my plan to have a baby. i have no firm idea of how this will come together, but i know this baby's name.

one week from tonight, my website, www.salimahjperkins.com will be live. Two years from tonight, I will have a book.

post beach musings

my youngest sister turns 24 tomorrow. the three of us girls and the dog headed for the first state, home of tax-free shopping, to catch some waves over the weekend in celebration. i took off work today, and i'm not looking forward to playing catch up tomorrow, but the trip was worth it. i had 147 e-mail messages when i logged into my work account tonight. most of them were cc's, but still.

in other news, i have a meeting directly after work tomorrow regarding my Web site. can't wait till it's up and running.

my own birthday plans are starting to take shape. but first, i need to get through this week. going into the office tomorrow is likely going to be the equivalent of a splash of cold water in the face. but after that initial shock, i'll shake it off and plow ahead.

close encounters on the way home from the grocery store

i gave the bathroom a thorough cleaning, finished up the laundry, and then walked the dog. a fairly typical Sunday (a day for industry and efficiency), except that c has been out all day on a date with her "for the most part" guy.

she did some marketing yesterday while i was hanging out with Sarah, but i wanted to pick up a few more things for the week, and some green tea ice cream for the Mad Men premiere tonight. i also needed a new toothbrush, not to mention drano. i've been bearing with a clogged sink for more than two weeks now. it finally became unbearable.

ripped jeans, a cleanser-stained t-shirt, and a smudgy pink hoodie are my ensemble. nude lips. bare ears. completely unadorned and schmada as Sarah would say.

anyway, i was walking home, very mindful of my ice cream and the heat--still oppressive at this time of day. deep into the narrative of the audiobook i was listening to on my iPod, and pulling my grocery cart behind me at a good clip, i started to imagine the most seductive evening of television watching. ice cream, candlelight, and Don Draper in Baltimore circa 1964.

i saw him first. for a split second i hoped it wasn't him. not because i don't look great at the moment, but because seeing him now, weeks before i am supposed to see him, felt like a violation of something.

spontaneously, i invited him (via evite) to a small gathering at my house scheduled for early next month. i didn't take a moment to consider why i was doing it. per Malcolm Gladwell's Blink, these "in an instant" reactions and decisions are the ones to trust. Besides, an e-mail he'd sent early last month opened the door. i wasn't thinking of it as a "door" at the time, but clearly it was because i had chosen to reciprocate in some way, and this was it.

anyway, it was definitely him. things are rarely convenient. we stopped and talked. in typical fashion, i tried to walk away before the encounter was over to protect myself from wanting it to be anything in particular, but he kept talking. so i kept talking. and it got easier to stand there telling anecdotes, giving the condensed version of my life.

eventually, i made my back home, my ice cream melted in the warmth of the sun, the narrator of my book intoning her internal conflict over the one who got away...

two opportunities to read

Related to the Maryland State Arts Council grant I secured earlier this year, I am reading at the annual Book Festival in the city this year. Another event, this one on New Year's Day in 2010, will be in East Baltimore.

All I can say is that I'm glad I'll be taking a poetry workshop this semester. I haven't written a poem in more than 3 years now. One of those three years was a sabbatical post M.A. degree. The other two years have been about some combination of indifference and trying to break into a new genre: Creative Nonfiction.

I haven't missed school at all in the 3 + plus months of the summer hiatus. I'm wondering how it will be come fall in light of the demands of my full-time, but temporary contract position, to be a student again.

Next week, I'll be doing a 3-evening InDesign crash course in preparation for the Typography class that will occupy my Monday nights starting on August 31st.

what's very clear is that I am going to need to come up with a no-fail organization plan. In two short weeks, if every minute is not accounted for, there will be a cataclysmic back log.

Account Fraud: Why I Love Wachovia

I check my bank balance online every two days, at least, whether I think I need to or not. A few days ago, I noticed about 10 charges to various media outlets--small scale newspapers in a variety of cities--that were obviously fraudulent.

Fortunately, I bank with Wachovia, and they always have my back. Unlike other institutions I've been with in the past, they didn't put the burden of proof on me. They started issuing provisional credits right away and sent me an affidavit to sign so they can investigate in the background. Wachovia did not allow my money or my peace of mind to be hijacked by criminal activity.

What is more, they were immediately compliant with my request to have a new card overnighted to me since I'd been inconvenienced.

I still don't know what exactly happened, but because I'm OCD about wanting my online balance to match the one in my check register, I prevented my rent check from bouncing, all manner of NSF fees, and the continued reign of a thief's terror.

everything's back to normal now, and the temporary snafu probably actually saved me money. i didn't want to do any spending until all the credits were issued and I knew no more fraudulent charges were going to crop up.

it was one of those soul-defining moments

where i felt that my acceptance or rejection of a sub-par situation would be my message to myself and to the universe about my own worth. based on what i knew two days ago, i figured out what would be acceptable to me in a context where someone else was dictating what the parameters are.

i had to regain some of the power i'd lost by recasting the global decision for myself.

once i had decided, it was effortless and i was unconflicted when i articulated what i would be willing to offer and for how long. i was unapologetic when i framed it in the context of the premium i place on what i offer.

peace of mind is the result of my action, so i know it was the right one. i'm done with wearing myself out to achieve someone else's agenda.