where can i really start?

a few days out from thanksgiving, with no preparations complete. but, i have a hair appointment today for the first time since my birthday. my self-esteeem will jump up ten points, which may in turn motivate me to do the things i need to do.

i also have a connundrum. i can start teaching in the spring, but i'd have to have a slightly weird schedule at work. i wanted to broach this topic with my boss yesterday, but there wasn't much time in his schedule to have even a brief conversation. there are pros and cons, but maybe i'll do the thing i haven't done before, which is take the chance.

i know i'll have to work full-time, be a full-time student, and teach (if i do this) twice a week, but isn't that the busy, meaningful life i want?

double o-c

i had a dream last night. i walked out a back door house entrance to set something out into the ocean. at first, i was glad to get away from the assembled group, just to have a breath of fresh air. the tide was coming in, and the water was a little violent. i remember making the mental note that it would be okay, because i wouldn't have to wade too far out to set whatever it was i was letting go of onto a wave that would quickly bear it out to sea.

before i could walk down to the beach, though, the waves quickly became tidal. the length of 16 foot walls at the peak. i stood there, my horror growing as i realized that when this wave crashed, it was going to pull me in and out with it when it receded. my assessment of the situation happened quickly, yet i could not gather myself fast enough to simply go back inside (i was still right outside the door of the house). instead, i grabbed the doorknob. i knew that the water would knock me down, but that holding on to the knob would mean i wouldn't be pulled out--bad, but not an irrevocable disaster.

the water was a dirty brown and green. storm lashed.